dear lourd de veyra,

ok so i see your hate tweets about one direction, they are all over my twitter timeline. and i was like, why?! i am not whiteknighting one direction but i am so confused with you ; n ;

are you having fun by getting so much hate from the fans? are you a part of some-kind-of-no-to-marijuana movement? do you want the haters-make-me-famous-kind-of attention? are you doing it on purpose to make the fans who bashed you even angrier? but you were the one who started it, yea? internet fandoms are sensitive. you should have been more careful of what you post.

to be honest, you are a pretty cool guy. you are one of the best journalists in the philippines nowadays. you are witty and all that. but most of the time (if not always) you are annoying because you give too much shit about everything. you are too opinionated. you whine at the most pointless stuff as if you are a teenage drama queen. you are wasting your intelligence on irrelevant things. and now, having a twitter war with some fandom, like seriously?

i just do not understand you. a popular icon smoking blunt is not a new story. you probably even know the beatles had their phase where they were so into marijuana before. and so what? to me, it seems like you are just picking on one direction so much (based on your articles and segments that i've seen) come on, you are a well-respected broadcast personality, give these band dudes a break.
if you do not wanna lose your credibility, you better stick to appropriate activism.

ps, you somewhat deserve the hate since you asked for it.

pps, don't you dare deny that you had / have never smoked weed! if you wanna come out, be sure you come out clean.

peace out, jiashi


i tried logging on to my very first yahoo email address khulaza30@yahoo.com (i made it back in 2001 and yup, i still know its password) but little did i know that yahoo had deactivated it for being inactive :( 

though i dunno if i should feel rich since i got to buy my own ticket to the philippines... or feel broke since i just spent such amount of money :( hahahaha

either way, i'm still going home! ♥


thank you, facebook! hahahaha

and yea, happy anniversary to us! :D


You were actually right, i depended my happiness too much on you. I even forgot how to make myself happy without your help. Don't worry now. I'll strive to be happy on my own like you do. If that's what you wanted.

Brb trying to be happy 
Problem is the only thing that matters to you is what you think. Everything else is bullshit. Even me. Haha


i'm tired of being hated. it's so hard to like myself. i just wanna sleep forever.


all i do is mess everything up whether i like it or not and make you go crazy mad at me i don't even know if any of my words still matter to you since it seems like i'm going beyond your limit and feels like i can't do anything to impress you anymore and now and you are probably starting to love me less because of that i'm sorry i'm not good enough for you
sorry ang tanga ko kasi e :( hahahahahdsakjdlajaklsjfklg


"Sorry i annoyed you with my friendship"
Turns out that he's actually right when he told me "they need you more than you need them", now all i have to do is decide whatever i think is right and good for me. I'm just making myself feel worse for complaining at him instead of taking actions to resolve the issue. What happened to my "do whatever makes you happy" principle? I really need to do something about this myself. Anytime soon he'll also start getting sick and tired of my rants. This is so not me. The me i know has a shitload of patience. Come the fuck on, jiashi! Pull your freaking shit together!


a failure son of ebish
I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights,
we used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights.
It was the best time of my life, but now I sleep alone,
So darling, don't, don't wake me up, 'cause my thrill is gone.
(Say I'm wrong)
In the sunset turning red behind the smoke,
forever and alone.
You've gone and sewn me to this bed, the taste of you and me
will never leave my lips again under the blinding rain.
I wanna hold your hand so tight I'm gonna break my wrist,
and when the vultures sing tonight I'm gonna join right in.
I'll sing along, oh
'cause I don't know any other song.
I'll sing along,
but I'm barely hanging on.
No, I'm barely hanging on.
By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone,
and now there's nothing to do but scream at the drunken moon
This isn't fair!
Don't you try to blame this on me.
My love for you was bulletproof
but you're the one who shot me.
And god damn it, I can barely say your name,
so I'll try to write it and fill the pen with blood from the sink.
Woah oh
But don't just say it, you should sing my name.
Pretend that it's a song 'cause forever it's yours,
and we can sing this on the way home.
I'll sing along, oh
'cause I don't know any other song.
I'll sing along,
but I'm barely hanging on.
No, I'm barely hanging on.
By the time you're hearing this I'll already be gone,
and now there's nothing to do but tear my voice apart.
Nothing to do,
and scream at the drunken moon.

browsed through the throwback blog photos on my g+ account again.. it's just funny how a simple wallpost or a comment thread with him made me so happy like a kid who received a candy. haha i'm starting to wonder why we no longer do that today. why?


naisip kong buksan yung google + account ko at hindi inaasahang nakita ko dun lahat ng photos na inupload ko sa mga blogs (blogger) ko simula 2007 hahahahaha!! tangina! hindi ko alam kung paano sya automatic na naintegrate dun pero tangina talaga hahahahahahahaha goosebumps!

sa totoo lang, hirap na hirap nga akong iclick yung thumbnail nung ibang throwback pictures dun e hahaha masyadong nakakababa ng moral! yun din yung rason kung bakit ayokong nagbabackread ng blogs. kasi kapag nakikita ko yung mga lumang posts ko narerealize ko na ang corny ko pala hahaha

nakakatawa lang kasi habang brinobrowse ko yung buong photo gallery na siguro may 2000 photos, yung iba dun nakalimutan ko na talaga! haha pero nung nakita ko sila, biglang nagflashback ulit yung mga happenings noon~ friendster days, lame photo manipulations, online games and friends, cutting classes days, arcades, high school friends, batman bag, inuman sessions with charism, olfu friends, mga lalakeng nalink sakin (na hindi ko talaga alam kung paano ko nagustuhan dati e  ang papangit naman nila at di rin naman maganda yung ugali nila, pero buti na lang talaga wala akong sinagot ni isa sa kanila ahahaha), crazy things i did with bffes (nung panahon na wala pang issue at sobrang mahal pa namin ang isa't isa haha), some kpop, cosplay cons, my very own political views (yun yung time na nagfafangirl pa ko kay chiz at pangarap ko din pasukin ang mundo ng politika hahahahah!), self-portraits (hindi pa uso ang word na selfie noon, pero nagseselfie na ko hahaha), all the blog layouts i designed, ap mf days on league of legends (season 1 haha), how i became a cyborg, landian days with wearvin (minamind fuck lang namin yung lol friends namin dati pero nauwi din sa totohanan ang lahat hahaha), and so much more! :D

narealize ko lang na sobrang layo ng pinagbago ko. yung akala ko noon, mature na ko sa lagay na yon, pero kung iisipin ko ngayon, ang baduy ko pala dati :( hahahahahaha pero ok lang. masaya naman ako sa kung anong meron ako at kung paano ko magisip ngayon. feeling ko dahil din sa mga kacornihan ko noon naiinspire ako maging less corny ngayon hahahaha ok tama na to. bye