3/16/14

Imagine being stuck in a town where you don't have any friends at all, you have no one to talk to about what you really feel, and you can't express yourself the way you want. After spending 20 years of your life in a country you call home, which carved you to become a functional human being, where you learned almost everything you know about life, and where you met the people you want to be with, then all of a sudden you will be asked to move to a very far place, far away from everything you love. Right now, i'm more than 8000 miles away from my friends and my boyfriend and 14-16 hours behind their time. Could this get any worse?

I feel jealous of the kids my age from my hometown studying the field they chose, finishing their degrees, having all the time and chance to hang out with their friends, spending almost everyday together with their lover, getting the job they want, going to places i've been before, deciding on their own how they want to live their lives. Why do they get to experience all those things and why don't i? 

Time drastically changes everything and it hurts to think that the place you want to be, is moving forward without you. And then a fear will start to grow within you, the fear of the moment when you finally come back to that place, everything you used to love is gone.