12/19/13


it's not our, or MY thing to celebrate this so-called monthsary. but for a change, we decided to at least greet each other every month~ so today is the 19th of the month and also our 19th month together :D
stalking him hurts so much haha :( #sorrynotsorry

12/16/13

nakakainis na yung feeling na ganito, yung taong gustong gusto ko palagi na lang nagagalit sakin?! as in sinisira ko yung mood niya. minsan gusto ko malaman kung may diperensya ba ko sa utak para di tumatak sa isip ko na wag na gumawa ng ikagagalit niya e. pero minsan kahit na anong pagiingat gawin ko sa mga sinasabi o ginagawa ko, meron at meron pa rin reason para magalit siya sakin. kahit hindi ko sinasadya. and i'm just like "wtfff galit nanaman siya sakin??? ano nanaman ginawa ko tangina???" hay tangina talaga. ano bang problema sakin yung totoo???????? gusto ko na matigil to sa totoo lang. sobrang naiinis na din ako sa sarili ko at nakakafrustrate siya to death. lalo lang nasisira yung relation ko sa sarili ko hahaha sobrang galit ako sakin!!!! i think i need a psychiatrist :O

12/12/13

i don't really mind if he gets a stuff from somebody and i didn't. but thinking about the possibility that he did something on purpose to be able to get it, it kinda makes me sad. i know what he is capable of doing and i know he could do even better when i'm not around. i do trust him. but i can't help wondering what he's gonna do when i'm totally gone. . . :(

coffee date with two of my favorite girls from highschool together with my very own man :3

konti nalang yung mga kaibigan na feel na feel kong samahan ngayon. dalawa na dun si shayne at tria hehehe! at least i got the chance to meet them again before i leave the country soon. and i'm glad that they finally met my boyfriend personally. haha i actually asked wearvin to come over pero sabi niya nahihiya daw siya. so i didn't insist since i know he doesn't really like going out in groups lalo na kung hindi niya kakilala. pero sumunod pa rin siya hahahaha and to be honest, i wasn't really surprised that he got along well with my girls~ FC / PR is his forte hahahahahaha jk

12/11/13

pinaka ayaw ko talaga yung mayayabang -____- yung mga feeling know-it-all, conceited, self-proclaiming, too proud of himself / herself, overconfident at walang bahid ng pagiging humble! leche

it's a good thing if you're smart, kind, beautiful or rich. but do you really need to brag about it? NOPE. unless you admit that you are stupid, then you're good to go. hahaha jk. but to be honest, a person who talks too much about his / her own achievements isn't really amusing at all. may quote nga na "an empty can makes the most noise" yup. so you diba? haha

okay lang naman yung mga biruang bullying with friends. murahin mo lang siya solve na yung inis mo hahaha pero yung pagyayabang na wala sa lugar? talking too much nonsense about yourself only makes you look lamer than the loser of the year from the worst school ever. oh boy please get over yourself now.
i guess i have to avoid being too clingy :O i feel like he finds me unpleasant. or i must did something wrong to make him act weird like that. plus i look so desperate :(

tamang cling nalang next time hahaha

. . .

though i really wanna cling too much dahil konti na lang naman mga araw ko dito :(

12/9/13

so much pressure from the financial issues that we're going through lately~ but it feels good to know that i have someone like him who listens to my tragedies over and over again. though i kinda feel bad for him having a girlfriend with lots of dramas in life. but i know he totally understands me with my situation so hakuna matata! :3 i just wish i could do something for my mom right now.

money isn't everything but it could get you something for the people you love soooo. . . magpapayaman mode talaga ko sa america i swear! for all of the people i love's sake!!! 

12/8/13

despite the ugly happenings yesterday and the other day, he still managed to visit me and even bring lunch for me today :') sadly no couple selfies :( pero okay lang i still had so much fun bonding with him and our baby cat :3

he also finally answered :) and he made me the happiest girl today~ ibang iba to sa nafifeel ko kagabi hahahha at narealize ko na masyado lang akong nagooverthink. ang bobo ko lang talaga. hay jiashi.

i've been really really sad tonight. dealing with the fact that the only person who loved me so much, doesn't wanna be with me anymore. it sucks to be me. good thing i'm the only jiashi in this world. nobody else will get to experience such a life full of crap, disappointments and mischief.

sorry to myself if i hate you so much right now. this will be the last and tomorrow's gonna be different i swear. just go to sleep now and still try to have a good night :)
i don't wanna pity myself for feeling so alone and lonely right but i don't wanna be surrounded or have any interaction with other people either. i just wanna be happy all by myself (okay i know i'm trying too hard with this)
okay, so much for searching heartbreaking quotes from tumblr. i need something positive and inspiring like seriously.

ayun. matapos ko umiyak ng umiyak parang nagbreakdown nalang ako hahaha i'm emotionally and physically exhausteeeedddd!! haha ang bobo ko kasi tangina hahahahahahahah :(

i'm still dying to know his answer. and i'm preparing myself for the worst. alam ko naman sobrang dami kong nagawang mali sa 2 years namin kesa sa mabuti kaya okay lang na magsuffer ako ng ganito. i really think i deserve this.

bahala na ko. pero hopefully, last ko na tong rant na to. kasi pagkatapos nito ayoko na magisip masyado. i wanna get better like he did.

12/7/13

sobrang bigat ng feeling ko ngayon. pero kasalanan ko naman kung bakit ganito kaya okay lang.

okay lang kahit hindi talaga :(

her name is Kit~ ang first legit pet cat ko :D i got her 3 days ago. actually binili ko to para kay Wearvin. dahil palagi niyang sinasabi na gustong gusto niya magkaron ng pet na macucuddle niya. pero nirequest ko na ako muna magaalaga hanggang makaalis ako dahil frustration ko din talaga mag alaga ng pusa hahahaha :3

Kit is adorably annoying! nakakalmot niya ko kapag hyped up siya makipaglaro, sinisiksik niya ko kapag matutulog na kami, ginigising niya ko in the middle of the night para makipagharutan, ayaw niya gamitin yung litter box na nilagyan namin ng special sand na super bango, feel na feel niya maglakad sa laptop ko kung kailan ginagamit ko, inaaway niya yung mga wires ko dito, hindi ako makatulog sa unan ko kasi gusto niya dun pumwesto, lalo siyang nanggugulo kapag busy ako sa ibang bagay, and the list goes on~ pero the best thing i liked about Kit is she's so sweet and clingy :3 i don't know if it's normal pero inaakyat niya yung balikat ko tapos kinakagat niya ko sa earlobes, soft bite lang :3 i find it really sweet! ♥

i just realized that having a pet cat is just like having a real baby. and i treat Kit as my real baby :3 i'm so gonna miss this feline creature!

12/6/13




sometimes i wish i had a better life to show off.



"They say it's easy to live, but why is it so hard to breathe?"

Aww :'(