1/29/12


jim paredes smiled at me :D

wearvin gave me a bunny yesterday :D sinurprise niya nanaman ako for the nth time! T^T

sobrang fluffy niya kaya gusto ko siya pangalanang bubush! pero nagbago isip ko, mas gusto ko siya tawaging sheep hihihi ♥

1/28/12

just some mindfucking photos of me and wearvin >:D





basta bukas na lang ako mageexplain hahahahahah!

1/25/12

self-realization # 9

you know, i feel like i can be nominated as the person who has the most complicated mind in the whole universe. or a runner up for the most hyperbolic bitch ever. (no, please, you're not funny jiashi. just shut up.)

okay, moving on...

i just realized how un-understandable i am (forgive me, i can't think of an alternate word for that) i'm so confusing, ain't i? i even confuse myself sometimes. what more the people around me?

imagine. if right at this moment, i'm thinking about something really awesome, a few minutes later, expect i will start thinking about something really awful. and it wasn't me! i swear! i mean, yeah, it was me but it wasn't my choice. it comes from me out of nowhere. couldn't figure out. that sounds so crazy but i really don't know why and how my mood could change as quick as that.

plus i think i got this imba ability to pretend. i could realistically act like there's nothing wrong and make them believe that i'm totally fine, when in my mind, there's actually lots of 12j3k1g41lmx1uoun12y1o1y and some !@#!%!@#!^!@&(^):?"=';;|///. and it's not as easy as it sounds. hmm, i could let them notice that i'm just pretending if i want to. but if i don't, they would never get an idea about it. ever.

honestly, i feel so fake right now (it's kind of ironic to see the words "honest" and "fake" in the same sentence hahaahaha) like i'm not being myself anymore. oh my god who the hell am i?

well, it's a fact that nobody could actually guess what's going on my head, UNLESS they read my blog :D because everything that is written here is basically authentic. all of these came from my bare mind. so yeah, this is the last place where i can be so true. but if they will only look at what their eyes could see, they will never know i'm sad. like right now.

oh hey, by the way, i was thinking, what if i go invisible? it would be so cool, don't you think? yeah, yeah? alright! :D
sobrang troublemaker ko. nakakainis raaaa. tangina ko.

iiyak na lang ako hahahahaha T^T

1/23/12

hay nakakalungkot naman, hindi ko masyadong nauupdate yung blog ko ngayon.

bakit nga ba hindi ko to nauupdate nitong huli? ewan ko rin e. siguro dahil mas madalas ako umaalis ng bahay these past few weeks. wala na kong time magblog kaya lumilipas na yung happenings ng hindi ko nashashare. tapos nagkasakit pa ko ng mahigit isang linggo. actually, hanggang ngayon hindi pa nga ko totally magaling e D: so wala namang special na maipopost nung may sakit ako. tapos medyo (medyo lang naman) depressed pa ko lately kaya parang ayoko na lang ishare dito yung mga pangyayari. so ayun.

namimiss ko lang magblog. poor blog of mine ang konti ng posts ngayong january huhuhu D: this has been a tough month for me. not a good way to start the year but it's fiiiine~ keri lang! hihihi! sisiguraduhin ko na sa february hindi na ako ganito kadown :D magfofocus na lang ako sa mga luho ko hahahahah!! jiashi will be a happy-go-lucky lady with lots of money on february >:D

---

hindi ko pa pala nagagawan ng layout yung blog ko kasi wala akong inspirasyon! hahahahah chos! at tsaka nagexpire na yung dreamweaver ko e. dibale may serial pa naman ako bwahahahah! lagot ako sa SOPA! come and get me, FBI-tches! >:D kawawa naman pala yung megaupload wala na huhuhuhuhuhu RIP, megaupload.

1/18/12

i thought this shit only happens in movies. but now, it's seriously happening to me. and just so you know, it's not easy at it looks.

okay, just cut this out. i want to cry backstage.

1/16/12

what he gave me when he had nothing means the most :">
hello.

now i don't even know why am i here in my blog.

raaaaaaaaaaaaaa. nakakainis. nakakahiya. napakagulo. hindi ko maexpress. paranoia. paranoia. paranoia. mixed emotions. very blurry. dagdag pa tong sakit ko. nakaka bv talaga. i hate the world right now.

tongue in a lung.

bye.

1/13/12

this is totally random but..

i just wanted to say that i'm missing him a lot lately.

what?! hindi naman siguro mababawasan yung pagkababae ko kung sasabihin kong namimiss ko siya diba? paanong hindi ko siya mamimiss e nasanay akong araw araw ko siyang kausap o kaya nagkikita kami every other day. pero ngayon parang ang tagal tagal na naming hindi naguusap. at parang wala lang. ewan ko. natatakot rin kasi ako na unang kumausap sa kanya. pero nakakamiss lang talaga.

but don't get me wrong! that's just some extraordinary friendly affair and nothing else special. i mean no, he is extra special, because he is my best guy friend. our relationship is beyond any other existing relationships. and yeah, i really miss him so bad.

---

okay, blurry. hindi ko maexpress yung gusto ko talagang sabihin.

raaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

1/12/12



yay! may nadiscover akong bagong foreign artist :D ewa farna from czech republic ♥ haaay, ang ganda niya lang! pati boses niya ang ganda! nakakaadik siya!

naalala ko tuloy yung tatu~ nung panahong sobrang yummy pa si yulia volkova (first year highschool ata ako nun or earlier) haha super fan nila ako dati! palagi akong nagsesearch ng pictures nila sa internet at nanonood ako ng videos nila at nagdodownload ako ng mga kanta nila (waw super fan na ko sa lagay na yun? hahahahah) basta kinakanta ko pa yung russian songs nila. pero buti nga may mga english version sila e. etong si ewa farna nakakalungkot hindi siya nageenglish sa interviews sa kanya at sa mga posts niya D:

anyway, natutuwa lang talaga ko sa mga singer na hindi ko alam yung language :D (aside from korean and japanese ha!) para kasing ang saya kantahin nung mga kanta nila kahit wala akong maintindihan sa lyrics! haha tapos natututunan ko yung accent at diction nila hihihihi! so awesome!


hmm, gustong gusto ko yung version ni ewa farna ng monster high! sobrang gandaaaaaaaaa ♥ much better than the original! medyo naaalala ko sa kanya si yeng constantino, less famous nga lang sa kanila! haha! tapos medyo mala-avril lavigne din! yung lumang avril ha! (2000-2004)
self-realization # 8

i could still remember how much i overthink back when me and jeff were still together. kapag tahimik ako, ibig sabihin nun maraming bagay na tumatakbo sa isip ko. insecure kasi ako before pagdating sa kanya. takot ako magkamali kasi baka iwan niya ko (hahahahaha true story!) i think a million times first before acting. pero may good and bad side yung pagooverthink. good side, prepared ako sa mga pwedeng mangyari kasi nacoconsider ko yung negative things. bad side, nagiging sobrang pessimistic ako, to the point na puro negative na lang yung ineexpect kong mangyari.

nung nakaget over na ko kay jeff, dun ako nagdecide na ayoko na magisip ng bonggang bongga kasi nakakastress pala yun masyado! as much as possible, iniiwasan ko na magisip at magplano ngayon. gusto ko na lang enjoyin kung ano man yung mangyayari tapos go with the flow :D

thinking is an adult thing. and i don't like that at all. i'm naturally immature. i don't want to grow up. mas gusto ko maglaro ng maglaro ng maglaro~ at sobrang hilig ko magexplore! ♥ like dora the explorer haha! noon kasi hindi ko nagagawa to nung kami pa ni jeff. i'm trying to hide my immaturity para hindi siya madisappoint sakin. may mga trip kasi ako na hindi naaappreciate ng mga ordinaryong na tao. tulad niya. hahahahaha

hmm okay, i feel like i'm not making any sense here anymore hahahahaha!! sobrang blurry na ng mga sinasabi ko~ ang point ko lang naman, mas nararamdaman kong mas naeexpress ko na yung sarili ko kumpara noon :D at tsaka wala na ring heavy traffic sa utak ko :D openminded pa rin pero hindi na ko nagooverthink :D hihihihihihihi!!

1/8/12

May nagtext pala sakin kagabi around 2 am na unregistered number. Tinanong ko kung sino siya, si ruffa pala, classmate ko nung 1st year highschool na sobrang tagal ko nang hindi nakakausap. Kinakamusta niya ko out of nowhere tapos medyo naweweirdan ako kasi nga wala naman kaming contact lately. Tapos sabi niya chinecheck niya lang daw kung ano kalagayan ko ngayon kasi may bad dream siya tungkol sakin. Tinanong ko kung ano yun, kaso ayaw niya ishare, pero pinilit ko pa rin siya na sabihin sakin.

Napanaginipan daw niya ako na namatay ako. Tapos sabi ko ikwento niya kung paano ko namatay sa dream niya. Ang nangyari daw kasi, galing ako sa ibang bansa tapos pauwi ako ng pilipinas, nagkaron ng plane crash at kasama ko sa mga namatay (Woah, medyo goosebumps pero keri lang!) Tapos yung libingan ko daw, isang malaking triple chocolate roll ng red ribbon! Hahahahahaha sobrang weird!

Nakakatawa lang kasi sobrang random nung panaginip na yun. Buti na lang hindi ako takot mamatay :D

1/7/12


"sa bawat isa kasing pinipili, may isang libong bagay kang tinatanggihan."

okay, nakakahiya mang aminin, pero gusto kong panoorin to! hahahaha! :D si angel locsin kasi e!! (imposible namang si john lloyd diba! hahahah) basta pag showing na to sa february, ito na lang siguro papanoorin namin pag nagdate kami ng bestfriends ko sa valentine's day hihihih! payag naman sila e hahahahahah!!

narealize ko, si john lloyd din pala yung bida sa dalawang favorite ko na pinoy films! sa one more chance at tsaka my amnesia girl! tapos dito sa unofficially yours, siya pa rin! hahahah nakakahalata na ko ha! gusto ko rin pala yung no other woman kaso wala siya dun! pero andun naman si anne curtis! hihihi! share lang hahahah!

1/6/12

alright! kailangan maging masaya! i'm a very optimistic person kaya dapat palaging positive vibes ang nakikita nila sakin bwahahahahah :D - ang TH ko masyado kainis! hahahah!

ayoko lang kasi ng may nagtatanong sakin kung bakit ako malungkot D: D: D: tapos pag sinabi kong "wala lang" hindi sila maniniwala huhuhu! e ang totoo wala lang naman talaga! ay meron pala pero hindi ko alam kung ano! so parang ganun rin diba!

alam ko yung mga bagay na posibleng nagpapalungkot sakin pero hindi naman ako sigurado kung yun nga talaga. kasi actually, nagugutom ako ngayon e. at pag nagugutom ako, nalulungkot ako. kaya baka malungkot lang ako kasi gutom ako. or baka namimiss ko lang maglaro ng league of legends. tama, tama, maglalaro na lang ako ngayon >:D

basta ayun, masayahin naman akong tao kaya walang dapat iworry my friendsssss :D i can be happy whenever i want to. same goes when i'm sad. kaya malay niyo, baka nagiinarte lang talaga ko ngayon! hahahahah

jusko! e 6th day pa lang ng 2012 pa lang miserable na ko? oh come on! hindi yaaaaan :D keri ko to! *thumbs up*

1/5/12

i'm supposed to be happy today but i'm not. well i was actually happy a while ago. but now, suddenly i'm sad for no apparent reason at all. well, there is. but... aaslasdakljdakljdakhsdaklalksdjakshsjd!!

woooo labo.

believe me, i got a lot of things running through my head. hindi ko lang maexpress grrrrr!!

anyway, change topic.

tangina kinakabahan ako ngayon! nakita ko biglang umandar yung r/c car! tapos pagtingin ko sobrang layo nung remote control niya! at sobrang imposibleng gumalaw yun kasi ako lang magisa dito ngayon! tangina talaga, creepy shit!

share lang. good night.




















unhappy.

1/3/12

ano ba yan! january 3 pa lang nadedepress na ko agad hahahaha D: it's too early to be sad huhuhu!

i really never thought this would be so hard! akala ko magiging okay agad ako kasi the best na decision naman yung pinili ko para sa lahat e. but i realized that not all right decisions could make you happy. also, not all that could make you happy is right. the pain is always there.

in fairness, ang daming imba happenings in less than 3 months. masyadong mabilis yung mga pangyayari hindi na ko makasunod.

this too shall pass.

1/2/12

1/1/12

jiashi's goals for 2012

- more explorations, adventures and connections :D magtatry ako ng mga bagong bagay, pupunta ako sa mga bagong lugar at makikipagkilala ako sa mga bagong tao :D

- gusto ko mapicturan lahat ng memorable experiences and happenings sa taon na to :D tapos at the end of the year, gagawan ko ng collage! yay!

- gawa ng negosyo para may income kahit papaano!

- maging punctual na sana ako! huhuhu yung mga kailangan kong gawin dapat magawa ko on time! at tsaka susundin ko na lahat ng plans ko! hindi ako basta basta magplaplan ng mga bagay na hindi ko naman kayang tuparin!

- babawasan ko na yung mga crush ko! sabi kasi ni wearvin buong mundo na lang daw crush ko hahaha! nakakahiya tuloy! kaya starting today, wala na kong crush! si jarvan na lang talaga :D hihihi

- iiwasan ko na bumili ng mga cute na bagay na wala namang silbi huhuhu (bibili pa rin ako pero konti na lang pramis!)

- hinding hindi na ko iinom ng softdrinks! water na lang talaga! ♥ babawasan ko na rin ang pagkain ng junkfoods! tapos mageexercise ako :D haha!

- magpapacolor ako ng hair, magpapalagay ako ng permanent tattoo, magpapapierce ako sa top part ng tenga ko :D at wala ng makakapigil sakin bwahahahahah!

- hopefully makapagcosplay ako this year! tagal ko na pinaplano to kaso di ko naman natutupad! basta this year magcocosplay ako!

- hindi ko na isasama sa goals ko ang pagpapataba! :D for the very first time, may nagsabi sakin na mas gusto niya daw akong ganito hihihi! pero gusto ko pa rin at least mag-gain ng weight D:

- magpapahaba ako ng hair for a change hihihi!

- magbabakasyon somewhere with my friends sana!

- magpapakabait na ko hihihi! i'm inspired to be a better person! :D iba't ibang klase ng kasalanan ang nagawa ko last year kaya magpapakatino naman ako this year para maiba hahahah!

goodbye and thank you 2011! hello and welcome 2012! bless me Lord this year! :D
GOOD BYE 2011

- a boring start of 2011
- very lazy jiashi
- drama, drama and more dramas
- penguins and polar bears
- all caps syndrome
- farewell legion
- we the kings / nevershoutnever
- less drinking sessions
- cosplay & kpop events
- stupid decisions + regrets
- heartaches
- bitter ending
- rainy season is crying season
- palawan trip
- met a lot of awesome people
- went to a lot of awesome places
- had an adventure (lagi naman e hahaha)
- artist wannabe
- league of legends ♥
- awesome LOL friends
- a bum's life
- been cheated on 5 times
- finally decided to end it
- cyborgs!
- moved on
- forgive and forget
- a bitter ex
- another year with my best fucking friends ever

2011 had been a very rough year for me. and unfortunately, things didn't turn out the way i planned. pero okay lang :D dahil hindi man naging maganda yung simula at gitna ng taon na to, at least nagtapos naman na masaya :D

maraming salamat sa mga nakasama at nakilala ko nung 2011! see you again this 2012! hihihi! i'll make sure that this year will be better! let us all enjoy it like it's literally the end of the world! hahahahah