11/19/12

self-realization # 13

i thought i was hated. then i found out that i really am.

nothing sucks more than being hated by your partner's parents. this would probably disturb me for the rest of my life. or as long as we're together.


10/3/12

got inked for the first and last time :D


barcode with my birthdate and my boyfriend's initials

10/2/12

oh, here it is! the video of my boyfriend's surprise is up! thanks to snowe! :D


my boyfriend is soooo rare i know :D

9/30/12

i guess it's safe to say that this is my first happiest birthday celebration ever! :D dati kasi hindi naman talaga ko naeexcite sa birthday ko. normal na araw lang sya for me kasi hindi naman ako sanay ng pinagcecelebrate ako sa bahay. or kapag nagcecelebrate ako with my friends dati, palaging one week after my real birthday. pero ngayon, grabe! wearvin made my exact birthdate very memorable!! :D


i really had fun last night! hindi ko maexpress basta masaya ko! :D i love how my boyfriend never fails to make me feel how special i am to him! :D parang kasing swerte ko yung mga nanalo sa lotto for having him as my boyfriend! hahahahah

- - -

masaya rin pala ako ngayon ko lang ulit naexpress kung gaano ko namimiss yung mga kaibigan ko! hahahaha simula kasi nung nagkaron ng issues lately, individual ko na lang sila nakakausap. pero ngayon, comfortable na ulit akong makipagusap sa kanila as a group! :D love ko naman kasi talaga sila talaga kahit anong mangyari hahaha! :3 at hindi ko idedeny na sobrang namiss ko sila! haaay ikwekwento ko na lang to sa ibang post~

anywayyyy!! (favorite word ko yan hahahaha) happy 19th birthday ulit sakin! :D

8/6/12


ang paggamit ng contraceptives ay isang paraan para makaiwas / iwasan (prevention) ang mga unwanted pregnancies at mga sexually transmitted disease. hindi yun isang uri ng abotion o pagpatay!

bakit ba kasi hindi maintindihan ng mga pari na hindi yun pro abortion? hindi naman lahat ng tao dito sa pilipinas ay katoliko kaya hindi pwedeng sumang-ayon ang lahat para sa kagustuhan lang ng isa. dapat kasi ang simbahan hindi na nakikialam sa gobyerno. e kung sasali pala ang mga pari e di sana kumandidato na din sila. simula nung nagkaron ng people power palagi na lang nakikialam ang simbahan sa paggawa ng batas. according to the constitution, any religious sect should not interfere with the decision of the government. 

but yeah, i know this isn't just a political issue. this is actually a moral issue. and having children without the capability of supplying their basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, education) THAT IS IMMORAL.

sana lang talaga hindi to mahaluan ng eleksyon sa 2013. baka mamaya may magtakutan pa na hindi sila susuportahan ng simbahan kaya sila magboboto ng anti rh bill. 

anyway, opinion ko lang to! ang mga anti rh bill magpost na lang rin kayo ng sa inyo :D hahahaha gora! sobrang tagal na ng rh bill issue kaya sana naman matapos na ang debate! bukas magkakaalaman na kung ano ba talaga! pero sana talaga manalo ang PRO RH BILL! yay!

8/3/12



yay! ang dami na nila oh! :D naaadik na kami sa ganito! hahahahah as of now, meron na kaming 52 pictures! 50 na maliliit at 2 na malaki. nakaka 1k+ php na rin ako dyan ah! haha but it doesn't matter dahil sobrang natutuwa ako sa kanilang lahat ♥ kulang pa nga to para sakin e! ang cute lang kasi nila tignan dahil ang dami nila at ang colorful!

buti na lang talaga nagagawang sabayan ni wearvin yung matinding addiction ko sa pagpipicture! and i love him so much for that! teehee! :>

8/2/12

i love my boyfriend ♥

hindi ko alam pero sooooobbbbrraaaang in love ako kay wearvin!! ♥ ♥ ♥ nagtataka rin ako dahil hindi naman ako ganito kashowy sa feelings ko dati pero ngayon hindi ko na sya mapigilang sabihin! :D at wala akong pakialam kahit magkadiabetes na ang mga tao sa overflowing sweetness namin hahahahah!!

baka mamaya ma-too much love will kill you nanaman ako neto! hahahahha wag naman sana! pero natutuwa lang talaga ko kasi hindi naman lahat ng babae nagkakaron ng boyfriend na katulad ni wearvin :D he's soooo.. so.. ahhh i can't find words to decribe how awesome my boyfriend is :D

7/27/12

80% ng mga nagmamarijuana ay pacool! para lang magfit in sa barkada.. "uso kasi e" kaya gagawin na rin. feeling nila maangas sila kapag nagweweeds! tangina nyo lang

10% ang totoong gumagamit nito hindi dahil uso or cool pero kailangan ng katawan nila

7% mga nagrerebelde sa pamilya o kaya may matinding pinagdadaanan

3% ang namamatay dahil sa maling paggamit nito hahaha

curiousity kills. yup.

- - -

may mga kakilala ako na nagsasabi sakin "nagmamarijuana na ko ngayon e" ULOL! kailangan talaga sabihin sa lahat na nagjujuts ka? ang sarap mo lang batukan! e kung isumbong kaya kita sa pulis diba? no bail pa naman yun!

i actually don't mind if you're my close friend and you smoke marijuana. i won't stop you because you're old enough to know what you're doing. but if you smoke weed to be cool, then you're a motherfucking loser! but since i'm a good friend to you, i swear, expect me to support you until you die :D

7/14/12

*updated*

1. my real name is... kept secret! :D it is a private stuff just like the other information you thought were true hahahah

2. most people know me by the name jiashi / jaz / pusa / neko / lucy / lexikien

3. the correct pronunciation of jiashi is "ja-yashi" and not "jiya-shi"

4. bryan poquiz is the one who nicknamed me "pusa" when we were in 5th grade. he said i look like a cat and everybody agreed. until now, i'm not sure if it was a compliment or what.

5. i am just a simple human being. not popular, rocker, goth or whatsoever. kung ano yung nakikita nyo, YUN LANG!

6. i suck at making friends in person. pero may mga taong lumalapit sakin para makipagkaibigan. dun siguro dumadami yung friends ko. so thank you! // mas magaling ako makipagfriends online! :D

7. minsan ayoko makipagkilala sa mga tao.. pakiramdam ko kasi ang pangit ko T^T i only look good in pictures - totoo to!

8. i have 3 bffe (best fucking friends ever) si geib, si booh at si rheca ♥ i love those ladies and i will NEVER ever exchange them for anyone or anything.

9. i'm attracted to girls ♥ but that doesn't make me a lesbian or something! bitches, please!

10. i like getting along with shy type of people :D yung may mysterious factor sa simula pero kapag nakilala mo sya madaldal at interesting pala! nahihiya lang pero tao pa rin naman hahahah

11. ayoko ng may nagkakagusto sakin~ i'll do anything to turn them off. don't ask me why because i don't know either.

12. compliments are too awkward. kapag may pumupuri sakin hindi ko alam kung magthathank you ba ko kasi pakiramdam ko binobola lang nila ko D: huhuhu

13. back in high school, i have this so-called hit list :D i numbered my friends and classmates, i'm planning to kill them all and put numbers on their chests! i don't know if rheca still remembers that she's my number one. she's special! hahaha // as of now, i have 130+ people on my hit list. and who knows, you might be on my list ;p

14. i am the youngest daughter, sibling, granddaughter, niece and cousin in the family :D - ooh, not anymore!

15. i don't have a province since both of my parents were born and grew up here in manila~

16. i want to live in a place that is far away from civilization, pero hindi naman yung liblib na lugar! i just don't like the life here in manila which is sooo fast.

17. i want a laid-back life.. sleeping tight at night and waking up in the morning without the need to rush ♥ ohh sarap! hahahah

18. i have an imba sense of humor. anyone could easily make me laugh. yup, ANYONE. and my laugh is also imba. as if there's no tomorrow hahahahahahahahahahahahah yeah, just like that.

19. my mom told me that when i was a baby, i ate my own poop :D awesome, don't you think? not every baby eats their own poop hahahahah proud?

20. i want to give my family a better life. sino bang anak ang ayaw bigyan ng magandang buhay ang kanilang magulang diba?!

21. i am a real spendthift! very magatos! that's actually the main reason why i want to be successful~ kailangan ko tustusan lahat ng luho ko! kaya kung ako ay may sariling ref, malamang laging puno yun! hahahah

22. i love the feeling of selling or giving service.. that's why i want to run my own business someday :D at isa pa, anak ako ng negosyante kaya ano pa ba sa tingin nyo ang gagawin ko?

23. i want to express myself through art ♥ unfortunately, i suck at that stuff. well, i can do some. but i'm not that good D:

24. my parents aren't proud of me right now because i keep losing their trust. i don't know how to gain it back anymore. but in the future, i'll make sure that they will be proud of me! because i'm pretty sure that i won't be successful in arts... but in business!

25. most people think i'm a snob. mannerism ko kasi yung pagtaas ng left eyebrow kaya nagmumukha akong masungit D: pero kapag nakilala na nila ako, nagugulat sila dahil ang bait bait ko pala hihihihihi! :D

26. kung akala nyo mabait ako... TOTOO YUN! hahahahahah mabait naman talaga ko :D kung pwede ko nga lang sana ibigay yung makakapagpasaya sa lahat ng tao ibibigay ko na e hahaha ♥ but seriously, i want everybody happy.

27. i like amusing stuffs! yung tipong mapapa "waaaw naman paano nangyari yuuun!!" ako tapos may sparkles pa sa mata ko! *w* hahahahah

28. i love interacting with animals ♥ kaya nga malapit ang loob ko kay earl at melvin e! hahahaha biro lang! hmm i like visiting the zoo :D i also want to keep a pet snake (python) but my mom will surely kill me kapag ginawa ko yun!

29. i have a REAL bad case of short-term memory D: i tend to forget things very easily and i suck big time at memorizing stuffs. that's why i love blogging. so i can at least record even the simplest events, feelings and happenings in my life.

30. i thought i was going to be a journalist. because i loved writing stories and imagining stuffs that are out of this world.. pero napunta ang lahat ng yon sa ibang arts. not by writing anymore, but by drawing.

31. pero hindi naman talaga ako magaling magdrawing. i just love arts ♥ i appreciate any kind or form of art. even simple doodles amazes me :D

32. i can do letter art. nung high school ako, maraming nagpapaletter art sakin. pero kapag para sa sarili ko na, tinatamad ako.

33. yes, i drink alcohol occasionally. but i will never ever try smoking.

34. my favorite fruit is lemon and i'm addicted to lemonade! *nom nom*

35. i don't have any favorite color. well, i like lime green. but i don't feel like wearing lime green clothes.

36. i cut my own hair when i'm bored.

37. nananakit ako! physically! because i don't want to be touched by anyone! there should always be a distance! so yeah, i have newton 3 (igoogle mo na lang haha) that can also be RPE (reflexive property of equality) igoogle mo na lang ulit hahahah so beware evil humans!

38. i hate talking to stupid and narrow-minded humans, as if they have a contagious disease. lumayo kayo sakin please lang!

39. my gadgets and stuffs have angelic / demonic names.

40. i have imaginary friends and pets :D they're my other best friends.

41. khulaza30@yahoo.com is my very first email address :D i made that account when i was in 2nd grade. and until now, i could still open it.

42. i celebrate my birthday twice a year. june and september.

43. i used to cut classes back in highschool. and i spent almost 20k php on online games. or even more.

44. i'm the founder of anti-twilight society hahahahaha trip trip lang talaga yun nung una e, kaso bumenta haha

45. i want to be the president of the philippines. if not me, i want someone who is responsible enough and won't steal the people's money. someone who is willing to die or kill just to stop corruption.

46. i throw my trash only in the right place. no matter how small it is. at kapag wala akong makitang basurahan, ilalagay ko na lang muna sa bag ko at tsaka itatapon kapag nasa bahay na. and i want everyone else to do the same.

47. i'm a fan of world war II era. minus the nazi party.

48. 30's to 50's fashion is awesome for me.

49. there is always a soft portion in my heart for old people. grandparents are special, so they should be treated in a special way.

50. my deceased maternal grandmother (nanay) cooks the best adobo in the whole world! :D

51. nanay took care of me when i was 0 - 14 years old. i was closer to her than anyone in the family. she died in 2007.

52. i'm very picky when it comes to food! i don't like durian. yeah, i know it tastes good. but i don't like the smell. hmm, i also don't like eating talong, okra and other weird halaman. maybe that's the reason why i'm too skinny D:

53. i like making california maki, sushi and bento :D

54. i love sweets! chocolates (i prefer dark), sour candies, gummy candies, cake, desserts, etc. but i'm not fond of eating ice cream. unless it's vanila, dippin dots or banana split.

55. i got four piercings. one on the left ear, three on the right. i let the two close though.

56. i'm always late at anything or anywhere D: kahit nagigising ako ng maaga at natatapos agad magprepare, pag napansin kong mahaba pa ang oras, nagmumuni-muni muna ako tapos hindi ko na mamamalayan yung oras kaya bandang huli nalalate pa rin hahahahah

57. i don't like attending formal occasions. naplaplastikan kasi ako tuwing nakakakita ako o umaattend ng okasyon na puno ng sosyalan!

58. i want to learn how to speak, write and understand japanese fluently :D i always want to visit japan someday. i love the japanese culture.

59. marami rin pala ako naging pangarap na profession before :D i wanted to be a policewoman, a soldier or a forensic scientist (crime investigation)

60. mad people scares me T^T nagpapanic ako kapag nakakarinig ng taong sumisigaw!

61. i'm afraid of cockroaches T^T as in todong takot! lalo na yung lumilipad! goosebumps!! takot rin ako sa multo, hospitals, ants and crossing the road D:

62. i'm a happy and positive kind of person :D why would you think of negative things when you could just think of the positive ones instead? siguro kahit nasusunog na yung bahay namin, iisipin ko pa rin na may magandang idudulot yun! hahahah a person will never be happy if he's too negative.

63. i find english so much easier than tagalog.

64. i'm not really good in speaking english but i'm extremely strict with my grammar and spelling. i always make sure that everything i say is grammatically correct and understandable.

65. naiiyak ako sa mga super sweet o super awesome o super touching na tao / bagay / movie / etc.

66. i love children! i like cute and chubby kids.. masarap pisilin at hiwain ang mga balat hahaha! but sometimes i want to hurt them.. i don't know.. i wanna see them in pain and then i'm gonna give them candies :D

67. nasasarapan ako sa atay at puso ng manok (aswangan? hahahahahaha) mapa-adobo, prito o kahit ano pa yan, basta gusto ko talaga yun! ♥

68. i cried when john kramer (jigsaw) died in saw 3 T^T

69. i love watching professional wrestling. randy orton is my favorite wrestler. he was my crush from 5th grade to 2nd year high school hahahah

70. i'm a super fan of the beatles!! :D kahit hindi na sila uso sa edad ko, gustong gusto ko pa rin sila! hahahaha ultimate crush ko ngayon si sir paul mccartney! ♥ he's old enough to be my grandfather but who cares?

71. 11 is my lucky number :D why? ask me and i'll tell you haha!

72. ako ay nambabatok tuwing ako ay nakakakita ng kotseng kuba (volks) hanggang ngayon ay nagagawa ko pa rin to kaya magingat sakin kung kasama nyo ako sa daanan! bigla bigla ko na lang ito ginagawa at wala akong pinipili :D

73. i started blogging way back when i was in grade 6 :D john rey san diego was my very first blog reader (sapilitan yun! crush naman nya ko before e kaya sumusunod sya sakin! bwahahahahahah)

74. my dad knows how to play several musical instruments! but he never taught me, maybe because he wanted me to learn on my own. but i was too lazy! hahahah but i used to play guitar and some drums.

75. i used to think that wearing glasses is cool. but now that i have to wear glasses, it's no longer cool T^T i'm dying for a perfect vision!

76. i super love giving and getting free hugs ♥ ♥ ♥ i prefer hugs more than kisses!

77. i don't like texting and not fond of using landlines. unless i really enjoy talking to you.

78. baa baa black sheep is my favorite nursery song :D and i love singing it in different versions (scary, sad, happy, metal, with flu, etc.)

79. i love all pixar movies and i want to be a part of a pixar team (in my dreams hahahah)

80. my cyber life is very very active since 2004. oh yes, i'm an online gamer since then! :D

81. as of now, i'm addicted to league of legends! ♥ i love its gameplay, graphics, dynamics, everything about it~

82. i have a wide range of taste in music~ no specific genre :D i listen to any song that captures my fancy mehehe

83. i super love noriter's coffee jelly :D

84. never force me to do something against my will. kahit anong bagay pa yan, pag sinabi kong ayoko, AYOKO! kahit ireverse psychology pa ako, wag na umasa na gagawin ko ang gusto mo / nyo / nila / etc. iba ang pag utos sa pagpilit :D

85. if some people think you're stupid, it's better not to talk than prove them right.

86. telephone rings annoy me.

87. my dream car is a white beetle convertible.

88. i was the first honor in kindergarten. i was in a cream section in 2nd grade. i joined a math competition in 3rd grade. i was always a top student in 4th, 5th and 6th grade :D yup, i was sort of a straight A student when i was in grade school. i have no idea what happened to me when i reached high school. pretty fucked up hahahahah

89. i'm very ticklish hahahahah! neck, back, sides, feet almost everywhere!

90. i love eating grilled chicken intestines :D

91. hindi ako sentimental na tao.. hindi ako mahilig magtago ng mga bagay bagay.. UNLESS mahalaga talaga sakin :D

92. i mix my shampoo and conditioner before i apply it to my hair :D

93. you can rarely see me wearing pants. i usually wear shorts and skirts because it's more comfortable for me.

94. hindi ko kayang sabihin yung "grrr" nagiging "garrr" huhuhuhu!

95. i want an underarm hair laser removal so bad hahaha

96. marami akong balahibo sa legs D: ang daming nagsasabi na ishave ko daw.. kaso ayoko hahahah

97. my first neopet was a blue uni and i named it "maica" something :D

98. prangka akong tao. i say what i think, sometimes tactless (sorry naman!) especially when i'm upset or mad.

99. i'm not very romantic by nature.

100. i have a thing for guilottines ♥ hahahah i know, it's weird.

101. never ever answer me with "k." tongue in a lung!

102. i do henna tattoo and nail art :D i collect nail polish~

103. nitong college ko lang narealize na maganda pala yung spongebob hahahahahahah kasi dati hindi ako nakyukyutan dun. tapos parang overrated pa. pero one time, habang nanonood si ej nun, nakinood din ako. tapos nalaman ko na sobrang nakakatawa pala yun hahahah!

104. everytime i drink coffee, i feel like i want to poop D: unless it's iced coffee~

105. i like attending cosplay conventions pero hindi ko pa natatry magcosplay. well, i'm planning to! SOON!

106. i suffer from alcohol flush reaction. my face goes pretty red when i drink any amount of alcohol.

107. maliit ako sa personal. pero wag niyo na ipagdiinan dahil nahuhurt ako! hahahahahaha chos! okay lang naman :D tanggap ko na :D short is cute! hihihihi - pampalubag loob hahahahahah

108. i super love ferrero but i don't like nutella.

109. men's perfume attracts me hahahah yung mga amoy gwapo tulad ng polo sport for men!

110. i always get mentrual cramps on every first day.

111. i eat very fast. and i could eat a lot without getting fat.

112. peter pan is my favorite cartoon character! ayoko rin kasi tumanda D: gusto ko mastuck sa 15 pero nakakalungkot man sabihin, 18 na ko huhuhu! at malapit na mag 19! T^T

113. hello, awesome, crazy, shit and nom nom are just some of my favorite words :D

114. i'm in love with a fictional character named jarvan iv :D

115. i play pump it up, drummania, technika, dance maniax, etc.

116. i'm planning to get a permanent tattoo this 2012.

117. i love animals a lot more than humans ♥

118. i'm currently in a relationship with wearvin whom i met in an online game.

mas maganda pa rin talaga kung kikilalanin mo ako sa totoong buhay kaysa puro basa lang hahahahaha nakakasiguro ka rin ba na totoo ang pinaglalagay ko dito? :D

to be continued..

7/13/12

hey, boyfriend.

i love your eyebrows, my ultimate crush.
i love your gorgeous eyes.
i love your perfect nose.
i love your lips, good kisser.
i love your pretty teeth.
i love your nails.
i love your hairstyle, anything suits you.
i love the angas factor you have with that earring.
i love asking how many years you haven't shaved your beard.
i love your facial expressions.
i love your gestures.
i love your smile.
i love your laugh.
i love the way you wipe your sweat off.
i love it when you make papogi for me.
i love it when you make pacute.
i love it when i catch you biting your lips, so attractive.
i love you because you're so damn gwapo!
i love the way you carry yourself in any occasion.
i love the way you walk.
i love your voice.
i love your body built.
i love your immortal chest.
i love your biceps.
i love your sense of manliness.
i love your good hygiene.
i love your health consciousness.
i love your alak breath.
i love your smell, you smell like your room haha!
i love smelling your armpit.
i love biting your arms.
i love pinching your belly.
i love tickling you to death.
i love kissing your eyes, literal sir!
i love bullying you by calling you dofm >:D
i love taking pictures with you.
i love giving you stuffs because i know you're going to treasure them.
i love you for being so pro at league of legends.
i love it when you teach me new lol champions.
i love it when you get tigas kuko with my pick up lines.
i love how you get embarrassed when i act silly in public, but you still find it funny.
i love touching your nipples in public because you find it awkward hahahaha!
i love it when we bully each other in a funny way.
i love it when you successfully annoy me by making unnecessary noise.
i love it when you make me laugh so hard that i'm about to piss.
i love being the only one who has the permission to touch your face.
i love talking to you on phone every night until we both fall asleep.
i love it when you do puppy eyes when you want or ask something from me.
i love daydreaming about you.
i love stalking you.
i love hugging you.
i love it when we kiss.
i love it when you kiss my hair, hand, forehead or cheeks.
i love it when we raaaa together hahahahahah!
i love having moments with you.
i love adventure time! :D
i love it when we do royal promises teehee!
i love it when you surprise me by kissing my neck, hmmmmm!
i love it when you hug me from behind.
i love your timeless sweetness.
i love it when you ask me how my day was.
i love it when you talk about your family.
i love it when you ask me about my family.
i love it when you introduce me to your friends and when you try to get along with my friends, but of course i still prefer when it's only the two of us.
i love it when you surprise me.
i love it when you're blushing.
i love it when you dance.
i love it when you sing for me.
i love it when you tell me about your dreams.
i love having dates with you... until the zombie apocalypse.
i love the unplanned dates.
i love having coffee dates with you.
i love having movie dates with you.
i love it when i force you to eat my left overs because you don't want them to go to waste.
i love spending my whole day with you and not noticing the time.
i love how you're more than willing to go with me anywhere when i ask you out.
i love sleeping on your shoulders.
i love clinging on to your biceps.
i love giving you a make over.
i love holding your hands.
i love blogging about you.
i love calling you sweet names.
i love your natural seloso attitude.
i love doing "hmph!" and the baby cry until you can't take it anymore.
i love hurting you physically, but i super hate it when you fight back hahahahaha!
i love scaring you with puppets and clowns mwahahahahahahahahah!
i love your terrible reaction when you see bloody and gory stuffs.
i love you because you never get mad at me for being late as usual.
i love it when you remind me to eat on time.
i love listening to your stories about your imba experiences.
i love your extreme sense of humor.
i love you for being so good in speaking english, a total turn on.
i love reading your good morning and good night messages.
i love how you make me cry when you're being too sweet.
i love how you pay full attention to everything i say.
i love how you can manage to text me despite your very busy schedule.
i love the fact that you have a very soft side despite of being so manly.
i love you for being so responsible.
i love how you inspire me to do good things.
i love how you always put me first before anything else.
i love it when you call me your girlfriend in front of other people.
i love how you remind me things i tend to forget.
i love how you make me feel protected all the time when you're around.
i love the way you treat me like a princess.
i love it when you compliment me, bola or not basta i love it as long as it's from you hahah!
i love how we get along together well.
i love it when you directly tell me my mistakes so i could do better next time.
i love how you always see the best in me.
i love your honesty and sincerity.
i love your patience.
i love it when you tell me how much you love me.
i love planning out my future with you.
i love you for being so smart and intelligent.
i love you for being competitive, that's something i really adore about you, however, i hate having arguments with you because you really are a tough competitor.
i love how you try to make me calm when i'm upset.
i love how you try to analyze my problems for me.
i love the way you think.
i love your viewpoint at anything.
i love asking for your sentiments and advice because i know they're always reliable and sensible.
i love how you do everything i ask you to do.
i love you for being so talented.
i love how interested you are in me.
i love you for respecting me a lot.
i love how you make me proud all the time.
i love how you impress and amaze me by doing great things.
i love it when you try to understand our differences.
i love how you make me feel kilig after all these months.
actually, i love everything about you, not only the good things, but everything (though i really can't see any bad thing about you) ah basta, i really love you babe :>

p.s. sorry kung inabot ako ng late sa paggawa ng post na to. nagrereminisce pa kasi ako tapos kinikilig ako kaya sobrang time consuming! hahaha sorry baby! i love youuu! kisu kisu ^3^

7/12/12

i know this is totally random but i just wanna say how proud i am of wearvin :D ♥

i mean, who wouldn't feel lucky to have someone.. na kayang imaintain yung good grades, finishes his school works on time, may magandang performance sa trabaho, to think na ang dami nyang kailangan imemorize na starbucks recipe, nakukuha pang maglaro ng league of legends o manood ng anime during his spare time, and despite his very busy schedule, he still manages to be an awesome boyfriend to me :> no miss yan! everyday pa rin akong kinikilig sa kanya! haha kapag break time nya, tinetext nya ko agad. o kaya kapag may klase sya, sumisimple pa ng pagtetext para lang makausap ako. ako pa nga minsan yung nagpapatigil sa kanya na magtext kapag may iba syang ginagawa hahahahah! and most of all, nakakapagdate kami regularly teehee ♥

obvious naman na motivated sya sa ginagawa nya kasi nageexcel sya talaga~ and you know what's even more nakakakilig? ako daw yung inspiration nya sa mga ginagawa nya :> hahahahah! haba ng hair teh?

wala lang! natutuwa lang talaga ko! sobrang blessed kasi ang lovelife ko hahahahah! i really could not ask for more! come on, hindi naman lahat ng lalake kasing responsable nya e. actually, wala nga akong ibang kakilala na lalakeng ginagawang inspiration yung girlfriend nila sa tasks nila. yung iba kasi nagiging expiration pa nga! hahahahah lovelife yung nagiging reason kaya nawawala yung focus sa priorities. tsk tsk. but wearvin is sooo different~ he's got a lot of priorities but he never forgets to put me first before anything else. and i love him so much for that ♥

excuse me if this post sounds so cheesy, blog ko naman to e! hahahah tsaka ganun talaga pag in love, corny man sa paningin ng iba, pero masarap yung feeling at yun ang mahalaga hihihi! lalo na kapag right love! :> ayiieeeekikkiieekiiii! hahahahahahahahah
self-realization # 12

finally, i get it now.

a healthy relationship is all about communication :D

actually, i already knew it since before. for me, communication is really the main foundation of any kind of relationship. pero ngayon ko lang talaga sya naprove at narealize ng bonggang bongga.

what do i exactly mean by communication?

it's about OPENNESS. yung ready kayo sa kahit anong usapan, positive man o negative. basta lahat ng misunderstandings hindi pinapangunahan ng emosyon. instead, dinadaan sa magandang usapan. pero walang kwenta ang usap kung hindi marunong umintindi. so you also need to be UNDERSTANDING. dapat marunong ka talaga umunawa sa other party. yung bago ka magalit, alamin mo muna kung bakit nya ginawa yung bagay na yun because you have all the rights to know the reason. don't waste it.

kaya kung kaya nyong gawin yung dalawang bagay na yun (being open and understanding) para sa relationship nyo, i'm sure magiging super harmonious yung pagsasama nyo :3 hihihi

yes, communication before anything else. kasi kapag marunong kayo magcommunicate sa isa't isa, lalo mo pang makikilala ng husto yung partner mo. and everything will automatically follow. dun na papasok yung love, care, trust, etc. when you completely know your partner already, it would be no longer hard for you to trust him/her with all your heart.

if you try to understand, you'll also be understood in return.
give and take, that's how it goes.

7/10/12

it's hard to get to the top when something or somebody keeps pulling you down.

like climbing a mountain and suddenly a wild wolf appears right in front of you, you have no idea that it's been watching over you from the start, just waiting for a good timing to eat your filthy human meat. ohhh, scary.

- - -

nacurious ako bigla kung anong lasa ng tao :D ... wait, what? dafuq did i just imagine?

7/7/12

i can't avoid getting jealous of the people who gets to see my boyfriend everyday :(

6/26/12

it would be so easy for you to say those things because you're not the one who's going through this. so don't even speak. okay? good.
self-realization # 11

people are programmed to be perfectionists. they will only notice your wrong moves and won't ever bother praising you for doing your best or even when you've done something great. whatever you do will never be enough for them. they will always expect something better from you. ALWAYS.

but you know, you can do something about it... don't be like them.

have your own way of viewing things. when you see something you don't like, just keep it to yourself instead of complaining about it. why would you let it annoy you when you can just look at the bright side of it? it's just a matter of how you understand things. people aren't perfect and so are you. everything has a limit. if that's what's given then at least appreciate it.

sometimes, you don't have to change other people. just make a difference in yourself.

6/25/12


wearv x jiashi :>

6/18/12


funny how wearvin and i have known each other for only 8 months and yet it feels like we've been together for 8 years already! hahaha we've made a super strong bond that nothing or no one could ever break.. not even us. i can't even get mad at him for a long time because my love for him is stronger than any other feeling.  and the awesome thing is, that feeling continuously grows day by day :D

until now, i'm still amazed how we instantly get at this point. everything happened so fast. it all started with a facebook friend request and the rest is history. i appreciate all the ups and downs we've been through as i look back because if it wasn't for all those, our relationship wouldn't be as healthy as this.

i really feel lucky having him in my life. seriously. he never fails to make me feel kilig after all these months. he makes my heart cry only with his surprises. he's more on actions, less promises. he dedicates his every action to me and that inspires me to do good things too. we rarely fight because we prefer to talk the misunderstandings out. i only see good things in our relationship. i never even thought that i would experience this kind of love. i mean, he's like my very own tumblr guy. the ideal boyfriend of every girl on tumblr ;) haha yes, he's got the "too good to be true" factor. and that's what made me fall for him sooo deep :> plus, he had proven his love for me by putting up lotsa visible effort. come on, not every guy is sincere like him. actually, they're the rare type. and having wearvin as my boyfriend, there's nothing more i would ask for ♥

5/21/12

05/19/12 - we're no longer unofficial :)

5/17/12

one of the most awesome things i learned from sir ace before, is to wish for everybody's happiness :D (this isn't sprinkled with any sense of insincerity, okay?) as in from the heart talaga na gusto mo masaya ang lahat. kasi kung totoo ka talaga na gusto mong masaya yung ibang tao kahit hindi mo alam yung dahilan, mahahawa ka na rin sa happiness nila :D isn't it awesome? yung tipong kahit may mabigat kang pinagdadaanan o kaya sobrang badtrip mo sa araw  na yun, pag may nakita kang stranger na nakangiti sayo, it will automatically lift your mood and you can't help but to smile back at that person :D

ganun rin yung mangyayari kapag may nakita kang taong malungkot. hindi mo maiiwasan mahawa sa lungkot nila D: emotions are contagious. pero syempre diba, mas okay na yung kapag may taong nalulungkot, hahawaan mo sila ng happiness mo. at kapag ikaw naman yung malungkot, mahahawa ka sa happiness ng iba. depende naman kasi sa tao kung papaano ka magiisip sa gitna ng isang situation. 

minsan kasi yung ibang tao, kapag namromroblema sila dahil sa lovelife o dahil wala silang pera, feeling nila sila na yung pinakamalas na tao sa araw na yun. nagagalit sila sa mundo dahil lang sa napakababaw (o walang kwenta) na dahilan. kung makapagreklamo, ganun ganun na lang. tss. parang hindi nagiisip e.

ang sarap sarap kaya ng feeling kapag palagi kang masaya at nakangiti. but it doesn't mean na puro swerte na yung dadating sayo. syempre minsan may mga kamalasan rin. pero kung marunong ka magisip kung paano ihahandle yung ganun, hindi mo na sya proproblemahin at all. it will just pass by you and you won't even remember it the same day next year (i dare you!)

every burden has a brighter side. they don't happen just to make you feel miserable. it will teach you a lesson afterwards. if only you would open your mind up to the fullest extent, you'll manage to adopt a lot of ideas that might help you get through the same situation next time. it's all in the mind naman e. kung paano mo hahanapan ng positibong side yung negatibong pangyayari. acceptance. kung paano mo tatanggapin yung mga bagay na dumadating sayo (maganda man o hindi) for example, kesa umiyak ka ng umiyak every night at feeling mo wala nang point mabuhay dahil lang iniwan ka ng partner mo, bakit hindi ka na lang magmove on at magfocus sa mga priorities mo sa buhay?

it's okay to be sad once in a while. but if you're no longer happy at all times, don't you think something's wrong with you already? (bang! hahahahah)

5/9/12

oh, what a day. a bad one. very bad.

pero wala naman ibang magagawa kundi magmove on na lang, kalimutan yung nangyari at tumingin sa brighter side. nangyari na e. wala namang may gusto na mangyari yun. at least, hindi sila napahamak or something. kaya okay na rin yun. magsisilbing lesson na rin yun para magingat pa sila lalo. at buti na lang, magaling si wearvin maghandle ng mga ganung situation.

i hope they're safe all the time.

5/8/12

ayokong nakakakita ng lalakeng nagpapaiyak ng babae. lalo na kung kaibigan ko pa yung pinapaiyak. tangina lang. she's one of the few people i treasure the most, how dare you do that to her?!

swerte mo lang talaga, mahal ka pa rin nya kahit ganyan ginagawa mo. kasi kung bibigyan nya ko ng permiso, baka nung una pa lang pinagulpi na kita sa mga bata ko bwahahahahahaha! chos! pero seryoso, nakakainis ka D:

5/7/12

hello blog! how are you? i've missed you so much!

super tagal kong hindi nakapag update dito dahil tuluyan na nasira yung laptop ko huhuhu (pero nakamove on na ko dun dahil last month pa naman yun) medyo nasasanay na rin ako ng walang laptop pero nakakalungkot lang kasi hindi ko na nauupdate lagi tong blog ko D:

kahit minsan nagpupunta ko sa shop, hindi ko pa rin nauupdate tong blog ko kasi hindi ako sanay magblog ng may mga tao o kaya nakatingin sakin habang nagsusulat ako o sa sinusulat ko mismo huhuhu distractions!!

hay, gusto ko na magkaron ng bagong laptop. pero mukhang hindi na nila ko ibibili. pinaasa lang nila ko T^T chos! bahala na. gusto ko mag earn ng sarili kong pera para makabili ng laptop. nagiisip ako kung magwowork ba ko para hindi rin ako nakatunganga lang lagi sa bahay hahahahah si rheca din interesado magwork kasi hindi rin ata sya mageenroll next school year. hmmm we'll see :D

for now, nagsasave na lang ako lagi ng drafts sa phone ko tapos pinupublish ko sya pag may time ako magwifi hahahahahahah kaso madalas rin ako wala sa bahay sooooo... ayun, the bottomline is, my life sucks without a computer. pero keribells hihihihihihi!

5/6/12


super fun last night! :D after a loooooong time, nakumpleto ulit kaming anim nila geib, rheca, booh, olivia and hasinto! andun rin si ate wenz at ate kat! ang saya lang hahahah parang grand reunion!

anyway, happy 18th birthday ulit to my ever partner in crime, emperor booh! :D


aww, hindi na kami pwedeng gumawa ng evil deeds ng magkasabay kasi kapag nakulong kami pareho, wala ng magpipiyansa samin hahahahahaha!

5/4/12

habang kausap ko si wearvin kagabi sa phone, bigla nya sinabi na nagugutom sya. e sakto naman nagugutom rin ako, kaya nagkayayaan kami kumain somewhere :D hahaha around 11 pm na nun tumakas kami pareho para lang magkita at kumain sa mcdo mcu hahahahah namimiss ko na rin kasi sya e :D

fun experience~ doing little things i've never done before, or we don't usually do :>

4/26/12

"yeah, it felt so good
i wanna do it again"

3/31/12

grabe sobrang boring lang ngayong gabi! kanina pa ko nakatulala sa blog ko hahahah wala akong maisip gawin T^T hinihintay ko lang kasi yung dinadownload kong league of legends client e. kaya sa ngayon wala pa kong magawang iba. balak ko sana pumunta sa secret shop kanina kaso i'm not feeling well. so eto nagstay na lang ako sa harap ng computer kahit wala naman talaga akong ginagawa literally.

i was thinking of something good to blog about pero wala rin akong maisip. ay meron pala pero... wag na lang. leche ang labo ko hahahah

sayang kasi kung hindi ko nadelete yung mga series na hiningi ko kay ian, baka may nagagawa ako ngayon habang naghihintay ng dinodownload ko huhuhuhuhuhu T^T matutulog na lang ako! good night! pero mamaya pa ahahahahah
first time ko makita maglaro si wearvin ng league of legends kagabi hahahahah noon ko pa gustong gusto na makita syang maglaro in person kasi ang galing nya e! nakakatuwa lang kasi yung mga lagi nyang sinasabi sa game na "babe, lalagyan kita ward para di ka magank" o kaya "babe, ready top ha, kill natin yan" naririnig ko na talaga! hahahahah ang saya lang! :D
yung feeling na naguguluhan ka sa bagay na hindi mo alam tapos bigla ka na lang nalungkot.

wait.. what?

3/28/12


yay! finally! nakagawa na ko ng bagong layout! :D nyan cat inspired! kahit sobrang plain at simple lang, natutuwa pa rin ako kasi ang ganda ganda ng kulay! :D siguro mga less than 6 hours ko siguro to ginawa at pinagisipan hahahah

naipublic ko na rin pala tong blog ko. but before that, i delete so many posts muna. nagbackread ako tapos nakita ko sobrang emo emo ko pala nung nakaprivate yung blog ko hahahaha silly jiashi!

sana this time sipagin na ulit ako magblog hahahahahah! aja!

3/15/12

gumawa ako ng cover photo! many faces of jiashi! :D hahahaha

todo to grabe! narealize ko kung gaano ako ka-vain hahahahaha! pero hindi pa rin talaga ko vain! adik lang ako magpicture ng sarili ko pero hindi ako narcissist! bitch please!

3/9/12

Twenty Questions: The Palanca Award-Winning Play by Juan Ekis
by: John Calica

*************************************************************************

Mga Tauhan:
JIGS – Fresh graduate, kabarkada ni Yumi. Magtatrabaho bilang researcher sa isang financial firm.
YUMI: – Commercial Model, kabarkada ni Jigs. 2 years ahead kay Jigs.

Ang Tagpuan:
Gabi. Sa isang kwarto ng isang beach resort.
Naglalatag ng kumot si Jigs sa sahig habang inaayos ni Yumi ang kanyang higaan.

*************************************************************************

YUMI: Sige na, Jigs. Huwag ka nang magpaka-gentle man. Naaawa ako sa’yo e. Tabi na tayo sa kama.
JIGS: Hindi, okay lang ako dito.
YUMI: Huwag ka nang maarte. As if naman re-rapin kita no. Malaki naman itong kama e. Hatiin na lang natin sa gitna.
JIGS: Sure ka?
YUMI: Hindi mo naman siguro ako mamanyakin no?
JIGS: (Matatawa) Okay ka lang?
YUMI: Kung gusto mo, gamitin na lang natin iyang kumot na divider.
JIGS: Good idea.

Isasampay nila ang kumot mula sa kisame para mahati ang kama sa gitna. Magsesettle down ang dalawa. Ilalabas ni Jigs ang libro niya: “Puppy Love and other Stories” ni F. Sionil Jose. Si Yumi naman ay magpapatugtog ng Japanese Zen Music habang nagsa-zazen.

YUMI: Do you mind?
JIGS: No, go ahead. I’m just reading.

Magsa-zazen si Yumi. Magbabasa si Jigs. Pareho silang di maka-concentrate. Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player niya.

YUMI: I can’t believe our friends.
JIGS: Oo nga e.
YUMI: Dapat ginagawa nila ito sa mga bagong pasok sa barkada o kaya sa bagong. Ay oo nga pala, bagong graduate ka. Congrats!
JIGS: Thanks.
YUMI:So what are your plans?
JIGS: Kinukuha akong researcher sa ADB. Kinukuha rin ako ng BPI sa OTP nila.
YUMI: Wow naman! In-demand.
JIGS: ‘Di naman masyado. Who the hell invented this tradition anyway?
YUMI: (Matatawa) You won’t believe it.
JIGS: Ikaw?
YUMI: Malay ko ba na mabibiktima rin ako nito balang-araw.
JIGS: So why did you start it?
YUMI: Wala ka pa sa tropa nun eh! Freshman ka pa lang siguro noon. Wala lang. Napagtripan lang namin si Ronald. Eh, may crush siya kay Meg. Noong unang beses magpunta rito ng barkada, sabi ko, magsimula kami ng tradition. Ilo-lottery namin ang pangalan ng mga lalaki at ng mga babae. Kung sino ang mabubunot, silang dalawa ang pagsasamahin sa isang kwarto sa loob ng tatlong araw. And then, we’ll all see what happens. Pero dinaya namin noon yung kay Ronald at Meg. Puro Ronald at Meg ang mga pangalan na nakalagay sa lottery.
JIGS: (Tatawa) Ang sama ninyo!
YUMI: Kaya nga nakarma na ako eh.
JIGS: So, is our case, dinaya? O talagang lottery?
YUMI: (Teasing) Ano sa dalawa ang gusto mo?
JIGS: Feeling ko may nagtrip sa akin sa barkada eh.
YUMI: Excuse me po, dalawa tayong biktima dito. I don’t see any reason kung bakit tayong dalawa ang sasadyaing biktima this year, unless may crush ka sa’kin na di ko alam at alam nila (tatawa).
JIGS: Baka ikaw (tatawa).
YUMI: The success rate of this tradition is 100% so far.
Jigs: I was here na the 2nd time. Si Chris at si Cia ang biktima.
YUMI: And last year were Rod and Kay. They’re getting married kailan? Sa June yata.
JIGS: What do you expect? Ikukulong mo ang isang lalaki at isang babae sa isang kwarto for three days, imposibleng walang mangyari doon!
YUMI: That was exactly my point. (Ngingiti)
JIGS: E kung may madisgrasya?
YUMI:Anong disgrasya?
JIGS: Alam mo na ‘yun!

Hahawiin ni Yumi ang divider nilang kumot.

YUMI: Ano? Sex? Pano kung magsex sila? Nakakatawa ka naman. Di mo masabi.
JIGS: Ang alin?
YUMI: Ang sex!
JIGS: Hah!
YUMI: Sige nga sabihin mo nga?
JIGS: Para kang tanga. Tumigil ka nga.
YUMI: Shet, Jigs. Graduate ka na totoy ka pa rin!
JIGS: Excuse me?
YUMI: Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!
JIGS: Para kang bata, Yumi ha.
YUMI: You used to call me ate Yumi when you wer! e in third year.
JIGS: Well, graduate na po ako, ate Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Hmmm. I wonder if we’re gonna last three days.
YUMI: (Teasing) Bakit? Ayaw mo sa’kin?

Di sasagot si Jigs.

YUMI:We’re gonna survive this one.
JIGS: What makes you so sure?
YUMI: No offense, Jigs. I honestly find you very attractive pero I’ve no time for this. Alam mo naman siguro na kakabreak ko lang.
JIGS: Same here.
YUMI: Same here what? Na you find me attractive o you don’t have time for this? (Matatawa)

Di sasagot si Jigs. Tahimik. Io-on ulit ni Yumi ang CD player at ipagpapatuloy ang zazen. Itatabi ni Jigs ang libro. Nawalan na siya ng ganang magbasa. Pupunta siya sa ref. Bubuksan niya ito.

JIGS: Hah! (Sarcastic) Perfect! Red Wine! How very conducive.
YUMI: May chips ba diyan?
JIGS: Sa awa ng Diyos, may tsibog naman.

Papatayin ni Yumi ang CD player. Tatayo siya at kukuha ng chips sa ibabaw ng ref.

YUMI: Since we’re gonna be stuck naman with each other for three days, might as well make the best out of it di ba? I-enjoy na lang natin.

JIGS: What do you mean?
YUMI: Get the wine, let’s have a drink! 50 hours to go na lang and we’re gonna be the first failure of this tradition.
JIGS: Oo nga. (Kukunin ang wine. Maglalagay sa dalawang baso.) When they chose Cia and Chris, naiintindihan ko pa e. Lalo na sina Rod and Kay. Kung baga, tinulungan lang natin silang umamin sa isa’t isa. Pero us…
YUMI: Weird ng barkada natin no?
JIGS: To our barkada and our weird traditions!
YUMI: To us, the first failure of this tradition!

Magto-toast sila at iinom.

JIGS: Sige, ate Yumi. Let’s make our stay here more interesting..
YUMI: What’s with the ate?
JIGS: Fine…

Bubuksan ni Yumi ang chips. Uupo sila pareho sa sahig para magkwentuhan.

JIGS: Let’s play twenty questions.
YUMI: Sige! Ano yon?
JIGS: Each of us will have ten questions each. Tatanungin kita, tatanungin mo ako, mga gusto nating malaman sa isa’t isa. Alternate tayo. Pero the thing here is, you can’t ask the question that I already asked.
YUMI: That’s pretty interesting.
JIGS: At bawal magsinungaling.
YUMI: Fair enough. Pero whatever is said inside this room remains in the room. Ok?
JIGS: Of course. You wanna start?
YUMI: No. I want to ask the last question. (Ngingiti at kikindatan si Jigs)
JIGS: Smart move. Game. First question: Ano ang greatest frustration mo sa buhay?
YUMI: Nge. Ang korni naman ng tanong mo. Walang ka-challenge- challenge. Ask me something na mag-iisip naman ako.
JIGS: Simula pa lang e.
YUMI: Sige. Ano nga ba…?
JIGS: Akala ko ba walang ka-challenge- challenge?
YUMI: Wag kang maingay, nag-iisip ako.. I’m a frustrated ballet dancer.
JIGS: Talaga?
YUMI: I took lessons when I was six pero umayaw ako. Wala kasi ako! ng disiplina e. Mas gusto kong makipaglaro sa mga kalaro ko. Pero I really enjoy watching ballet dancers. When I see them dance parati kong naiisip na sana, ako rin. There! Ang dali naman ng tanong mo. Walang thrill.
JIGS: Appetizer lang. Yari ka sa’kin mamaya.
YUMI: We’ll see. Ako naman: Did you ever have doubts about your sexuality? I mean, kahit minsan ba, naisip mo na bakla ka?
JIGS: Never.
YUMI: Bilis ng sagot a.
JIGS: ‘Coz I never entertained the idea.
YUMI: Homophobe ka ba?
JIGS: Alternate tayo sa tanungan, di ba?
YUMI: So, not once? Kahit konti? Kahit what if lang?
JIGS: I’m straight, okay?
YUMI: I’m not asking if you’re gay or not. I’m asking kung..
JIGS: Never nga.
YUMI: We all thought na you were gay. Well at least nung first few months mo sa tropa before you introduced your girlfriend to us.
JIGS: What?! You thought I was gay?!
YUMI: E pa’no kasi, masyado kang mabait. Ang pogi-pogi! mo, pero parang allergic ka sa mga babae. Over ang pagiging gentleman mo. Too good to be true. You have a good body, it seems that you work out pero iniisip namin front mo lang yun. Kadalasan kasi front ng mga bakla ang pagiging maganda ng katawan nila at pagiging sporty…

Tatawa lang si Jigs.

YUMI: So we thought it’s either that or you were planning to become a priest.
JIGS: What?!
YUMI: Well, you were always this goody-goody person. Pumupunta ka sa chapel. Nangungumpisal, nagsisimba..
JIGS: The way you said it, parang equivalent ang dalawa a.
YUMI: Of course not. I didn’t mean that!
JIGS: I take my faith seriously. That doesn’t make me gay!
YUMI: So you did want to become a priest…
JIGS: Hindi rin. Actually, I always wanted to raise a family.. and be a father.

Tahimik.

YUMI: So you’re not gay.
JIGS: No.
YUMI: You never..
JIGS: Ilang beses ka ba ipinanganak? Kulit mo e. It’s my turn.
YUMI: Homophobe ka no?
JIGS: Hindi kaya!
YUMI: Whatever..
JIGS: Ako na, daya mo naman e.
YUMI: Okay, okay. Shoot me.
JIGS: How do you see yourself five years from now?
YUMI: You expect to win this game? Ang kokorni ng mga tanong mo e.
JIGS: The object of this game is not to win.
YUMI: E ano pa ba?
JIGS: To get to know the other person.
YUMI: Sure. Basta ako, I will win this game. Walang thrill ang isang game kung walang nananalo.
JIGS: Sagot.
YUMI: May time limit ba ‘to? (Tatawa) Wine pa nga.
JIGS: Sabi nga nila: in vino veritas.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

YUMI: Masarap ang wine, ha? Saan kaya nabili ito? (Iinom) To answer your question, either maging entrepreneur ako, magsisimula ako ng sarili kong botique or bar, o kaya, magiging artista ako sa pelikula.
JIGS: Not bad.
YUMI: Pero mukhang malabo yung stint ko sa movies. Tough ang competition e. Saka mahina ang manager ko. Panay hosting at pictorials ang nakukuhang raket para sa akin. Papalitan ko na nga e. Pag nakaipon ako, baka magtayo na lang ako ng botique.
JIGS: (Magbibiro) Ayaw mo mag-bold?
YUMI: Yuck!
JIGS: Lahat ng gustong mag-artista doon dumadaan.
YUMI: May talent naman ako kahit papano a!
JIGS: Lahat naman ng bold star may talent a! Sa dibdib! (Tatawa)
YUMI: (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Bastos ka talaga! Akala ko goody-goody ka…Hindi ko papatulan ang pagbobold kahit anong mangyari no! Kahit ganito ako, may respeto pa rin naman ako sa sarili ko.
JIGS: Ganito? Anong ganito?

Di sasagutin ni Yumi ang tanong.

YUMI: These producers think all the people want is sex, sex, sex! Kaya puro basura ang mga pelikula e. Wine pa nga!
JIGS: (Magsasalin ng wine) Bakit naman botique?
YUMI: Hoy madaya ka na ha? Hindi pa ako lasing. Ako na ang magtatanong. Ang korni mo namang magtanong. Bigatan naman natin nang konti.. Inom ka muna.

Iinom si Jigs. Magsasalin siya ng bago.

YUMI: Who was your first crush in the barkada?

Tahimik.

YUMI: Haha! Bingo ka no? Bagal mo naman sumagot.

Iinumin ang wine. Magsasalin ng bago.

JIGS: Lalaki o babae?

Tatawa sila pareho.

YUMI: Dapat may time limit ito e.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Hirap naman ng tanong mo.
YUMI: Iyon nga ang maganda e. Para may thrill. As if naman ibo-broadcast ko sa barkada kung sino.
JIGS: Wine pa?
YUMI: Di mo pa sinasagot yung tanong ko, nagtatanong ka na!

Magsasalin ng wine si Jigs kay Yumi.

JIGS: Yung crush ko kasi.. siyempre, sino pa ba? E di yung pinakamaganda sa barkada.
YUMI: Nge. Subjective yon no! Para sa’kin ang pinakagwapo si Joel. Sa babae, si Kay. Para kay Ronald, si Meg!
JIGS: Yung literally na may dating walang tanung-tanong. Yung kahit sinong tanungin mo sa tropa, objectively, siya ang isasagot.
YUMI: Jigs, twenty questions ang game natin. Hindi guessing game. Ca’mon man. Play your own game. Pa’no na kung truth or dare to e di pahirapan na. Dadalawa na nga lang tayo e.
JIGS: Yung commercial model.

Matitigilan si Yumi.

YUMI: Wine pa nga.

Magsasalin si Jigs. Mag-iisip si Yumi. Iinom. Biglang matatawa.

YUMI: (Tumatawa pa rin) Talaga?
JIGS: Sige, pagtawanan ba?
YUMI: You can say it to my face, I won’t bite. Bakit hirap na hirap kang sabihin kung sino? Takot kang ma-reject? Parang tanong lang e.. Wine pa nga!
JIGS: Okay, 1 point ka na..
YUMI: (Ngiti) Gee.. thanks. Flattered naman ako. At kailan naman nangyari ito?
JIGS: Sorry, my turn to ask. (Ngingiti) Who is your crush in the barkada.. NOW?
YUMI: E ginaya mo lang yung tanong ko e.
JIGS: Hinde no. May qualifier ako. Ang sabi ko, NOW. Ang tanong mo, first crush ko.
YUMI: Korni pa rin. Alam mo, kung basketball ‘to, tambak ka na.
JIGS: Just answer the question.
YUMI: Siyempre wala. I told you, I don’t have time for these stuff. Kakabreak ko lang di ba?
JIGS: Korni mo namang sumagot.
YUMI: E korni yung tanong e. Pero kung talagang-talagang kailangan kong sumagot.. hmmm.. teka.. sino nga ba? Sino ba’ng crush material sa barkada? Wala akong maisip e. Ikaw na lang.
JIGS: Yung seryoso naman.
YUMI: Seryoso ako. Ayaw mo yata e. Sige, iba na lang..
JIGS: E napipilitan ka lang e.
YUMI: Uy! Pa’no ba ‘yan? MU na tayo? Crush mo ko, crush kita.. yiheee! (Tatawa).
JIGS: Dati pa ‘yon no!
YUMI: Ay? Di mo na ko crush? Bakit, na turn-off ka? Ano namang ginawa ko? Tsk. Tsk.
JIGS: Is that your question na?
YUMI: Oy, hinde! Ito naman.. ‘di ba pwedeng mag-follow-up?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

YUMI: Fine. Here’s a little jui! cy question: Describe your first kiss.
JIGS: That’s not even a question.
YUMI: Arte mo. O: How was your first kiss like?

Matatawa si Jigs.

JIGS: Wet.
YUMI: Yuck!

Magtatawanan sila.

JIGS: Alam mo, aksidente yung first kiss ko. Close kasi kami nung isa kong kaibigan. Pag naggu-goodbye ako sa kanya, parati ko siyang kini-kiss sa noo. E one time, sa gym habang nagpapahinga, nakaupo siya sa sahig. Tinatamad siyang tumayo. So bumaba ako nang konti para halikan siya sa noo kasi pauwi na ako. E siya naman, para maabot ko, medyo tumingala. E sakto, sa lips ko siya nahalikan. Pareho kaming nagulat. Pero di pa kami naghiwalay agad. Weird nga ang feeling e. Parang may glue. Ayaw na namin maghiwalay pareho…

Tawa pa rin si Yumi

YUMI: Awww. Ang sweet naman. Parang sa pelikula. Si Krissy ba ‘to?
JIGS: Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala.
YUMI: So what happened? Nagkatuluyan kayo?
JIGS: Nope.
YUMI: Ha?
JIGS: Ewan ko ba. Complicated kasi yung situation namin e. May boyfriend siya noon. Ako naman, takot pa sa isang relationship. Pero at least, na-discover namin na pareho pala kaming may gusto sa isa’t isa. Pero hanggang doon na lang.
YUMI: What happened after?
JIGS: We talked about it. We both decided na it wont work. Tapos, bigla na lang, hindi na kami nagkikita. And then, I met you guys, iba na ang barkada ko.
YUMI: Nakakatuwa naman.
JIGS: Ikaw, pa’no yung first kiss mo?
YUMI: Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin ng game na ito di ba? Bakit ba lagi mong bini-break ang rules? Di mo na pwedeng tanungin ‘yan!
JIGS: Tine-testing ko lang kung lasing ka na. (Iinom ng wine) Okay, naka-warm-up na ako, What was the naughtiest thing you ever did?
YUMI: ‘Yan ang mga tanong! Ano ba’ng ibig mong sabihin ng naughty?
JIGS: Bahala kang mag-define.
YUMI: Hmmm.. marami e.. (matatawa) baka maeskandalo ka.
JIGS: Kanina ayaw mo ng korni! Ngayong medyo exciting naman..
YUMI: Eto na.. I had two boyfriends at the same time.
JIGS: (Nagulat) Hala.
YUMI: I was with Joel and Zach at the same time.
JIGS: Yikes. Alam ba ni Joel?
YUMI: Kaya nga kami naghiwalay nun e. Nahuli ako (matatawa).
JIGS: Ano namang pumasok sa kukote mo’t ginawa mo ‘yon, aber?
YUMI: Nag-eexperiment lang ako. E sa type ko sila pareho e. Ano’ng magagawa ko? Saka para may thrill. Alam mo ‘yon? Yung patago kang nakikipag-date sa isa para di mahuli. Everyday pa akong nakakalibre, kasi, alternate sila! (Tatawa) Akala nyo kayo lang mga lalaki ang pwedeng gumawa non?
JIGS: How can you love two guys at the same time?
YUMI: Who said something about love? Walang kinalaman ang love dun. I was.. having fun!
JIGS: Nainlove ka na ba, ever?
YUMI: Nakakailang tanong ka na? It’s my turn.
JIGS: Don’t you want to answer the question anyway?
YUMI: My turn!
JIGS: Kulang ka pa sa wine. (Tatawa)

Ubos na ang unang wine bottle. Kukuha si Jigs ng isa pa sa ref.

JIGS: Ang bilis nating uminom a.
YUMI: Are you still a virgin?
JIGS: Whoa! Where did that come from?
YUMI: That’s my fourth question.
JIGS: (Magsasalin ng wine sa mga baso). Ano sa tingin mo?

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tititigan lang siya ni Yumi.

YUMI: Don’t tell me, wala pang nangyayari sa inyo ni Krissy hanggang ngayon? Ilang taon na ba kayo?
JIGS: Mag-tu-two years na sana next week.
YUMI: So virgin ka pa? I don’t believe it!
JIGS: Mukha ba akong tarantado?
YUMI: Mukha kang nagpapaiyak ng babae e.
JIGS: Insulto ba ‘yon?
YUMI: Compliment ‘yon, tanga.
JIGS: Ah, okay. Thanks.
YUMI: Pero, you mean, you never felt the urge to do it?
JIGS: Alin? Sex?
YUMI: Wow! Nasabi rin niya!
JIGS: Of course I always feel it. Natural lang ‘yon sa tao no? Nasa iyo na lang ‘yan kung anong gagawin mo sa urge na ‘yon.
YUMI: E natural naman pala e. Bakit mo pinipigilan? I mean, pag naiihi ka, iihi ka. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka. Pareho lang ‘yon, di ba?
JIGS: Pag naiihi ka, iihi ka dahil kailangan mong umihi. At hindi ka iihi kahit saan. Pupunta ka sa banyo. Pag nagugutom ka, kakain ka dahil kailangan. At hindi mo kinakain ang lahat ng pagkain na ihain sa iyo. Pag di ka gutom, di ka kakain. Pag di mo gusto yung pagkain, di mo gagalawin. Ang aso, pag may nakitang pagkain diyan, walang tanung-tanong. Lalamon ‘yan.
YUMI: And sex is the same?
JIGS: Lahat ng bagay, nilalagay sa lugar. May context. At least, yun ang nagpaiba sa atin sa aso.
YUMI: Grabe ka namang magsalita. Para mo na ring sinabing lahat ng nakikipagsex, aso ah!
JIGS: Sinasabi ko lang, pag wala sa tamang konteksto, mali.
YUMI: And what is that context?
JIGS: Matanda na tayo. Ayokong maging preachy. Alam na natin ‘yan.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Kaso, kahit alam na natin, minsan di pa rin natin ginagawa.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Masarap e. Sino bang ayaw nun?

Tahimik.

YUMI: (Medyo nairita) So feeling mo santo ka at dapat kang i-congratulate for being a virgin!
JIGS: Sinasabi ko lang ang pinaniniwalaan ko. Ineexplain ko lang kung bakit di ko ginagawa. May kanya-kanya tayong dahilan. Di ko pinipilit kahit kanino ang mga paniniwala ko.. No need to get so cross about it, Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS: It’s not about being a virgin or not. It’s about putting things into their proper places.
YUMI: I’m not arguing with you.
JIGS: Me neither. I’m just answering your questions.

Matagal na katahimikan.
Ngingiti si Jigs. Titignan niya si Yumi na medyo nairita sa nakaraang train of conversation nila. Magsasalin siya ng wine para kay Yumi.

JIGS: Nasobrahan ka na yata sa wine e. (Tatawa) You still wanna go on with the game? Nine pa lang tayo, eleven more to go. (Ngingiti)
YUMI: Shoot me.
JIGS: Who was your first lay?
YUMI: (Hahampasin ng unan si Jigs) Ang bastos mo talaga! So inaassume mo na hindi na ako virgin?
JIGS: E sabi mo kasi, walang thrill ang game pag walang nananalo e. So I guess I’m winning. Saka wala naman akong inimply na ganun a! I’m just hitting two birds with one stone. Kasi kung virgin ka, e di simple lang ang sagot: wala. Kung hindi naman, e di sino?
YUMI: Ang daya mo.
JIGS: Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng korning tanong.
YUMI: You think I’ll answer that after giving your sermon, Father Jigs?
JIGS: Ano ka ba? Inexplain ko lang yung personal reasons ko. Kung ano man ang sa iyo, I’ll respect them as well as I know you respect mine. I’m no saint. I’m just trying to get to know you better (Ngingiti)
YUMI: How do you do that?
JIGS: Alin?
YUMI: I should have walked out on you kanina pa pero the way you say things.. parang bumabaliktad sa’yo.. makes you more.. charming. Kung ibang tao ka siguro, ‘di na kita kakausapin.
JIGS: You can’t walk out. We’re locked here for three days except for meals.
YUMI: So I’m forced to like you para di masira ang vacation ko. (Ngingiti)
JIGS: You don’t have to answer my question if you don’t want.
YUMI: I guess I’ll be honest with you as you were honest with me…

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI: Di mo siya kilala. His name was Robert. He was my first boyfriend.
It was Senior Prom Night. Alam mo na.. typical senior prom story. Everyone wants to lose it on prom night. Everyone thinks na pag prom night, it was something special. We went out sa hall nang maaga. We made out sa kotse niya. One thing led to the other. Tapos, yun.. yun na. We went back just in time for the awarding of the prom queen. Guess what, I won pa. (Mahinang tawa)
JIGS: What was it like?
YUMI: Now that I look back, it isn’t as special as I thought it was. Pero it was different then. Back then, we were just led by our passions. Alam mo yon? Andun ka na. Hormones raging wild. Passions and Ideals are confused. Akala mo love, yun pala, curious ka lang pala. Akala mo yun na yon. Akala mo you are in-love at lahat ng gawin mo tama. Lahat ng gawin mo perfect. Everything was magical.. well, almost.
JIGS: Almost?
YUMI: Sa next question mo na ‘yan. Ako na.
JIGS: (Pabiro) Wine pa? Kulang ka pa yata e.
YUMI: Nilalasing mo ko no? May balak ka sa’kin no? (Tatawa)
JIGS: Is that your question? Sasagutin ko na. (Tatawa)
YUMI: Engot. Hindi ‘yon. Here’s something na curious lang ako. Kasi I’ve been hearing things.. saka you’ve hinted on it na rin kanina.. Are you still with Krissy?
JIGS: Hindi na.
YUMI: Since when?
JIGS: Two, maybe three weeks ago?
YUMI: Sinong nakipag-break?
JIGS: Pareho kami.
YUMI: Why?
JIGS: Maraming dahilan, actually. Naisip na lang namin na it won’t work. Isa na don, magkaiba kami ng gustong mangyari sa buhay. Magkaiba kami ng mga pinaniniwalaan.
YUMI: Like what?
JIGS: Marami.
YUMI: At ngayon mo lang nalaman iyon after two years with her?
JIGS: People change, Yumi.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Right before graduation, she asked me to move in with her.
YUMI: Talaga?
JIGS: Sabi niya, doon na naman din daw papunta ang relasyon namin. Might as well practice na raw for the real thing. Tutal, she’s working na naman, ako naman bagong graduate, we should try out na raw living together if it’ll work for us.
YUMI: Natakot ka sa arrangement?
JIGS: Hindi naman sa natakot. If you love someone, ano pang ikakatakot mo, di ba?
YUMI: E bakit umayaw ka?
JIGS: It’s just that, it’s not my thing.
YUMI: Sabi na nga ba e, bakla ka no? Sinasayang mo ang opportunities! (Matatawa)
JIGS: Hindi ako oportunista. At lalong hindi ako bakla.
YUMI: Fine.
JIGS: Naisip ko lang na hindi pa pala ako handa sa mga ganitong bagay. Wala pa sa isip ko ang ganon. Na-shock siguro ako sa reality na iyon na nga ang next step sa relationship namin. I mean, two years of being together and knowing each other, we’re practically ready to get married, if you know what I mean. Pero I realized, I’m not ready for any of these. Narealize ko how immature I am. Na iba yung ideals ko two years ago sa ideals ko ngayon. I need to mature some more to get into this things smean, getting married. Diyos ko, ilang taon lang ba ako..
YUMI: Maturity has nothing to do with age.
JIGS: But it has a lot to do with time.

Tahimik.

JIGS: So I thought, bakit kailangan ng practice mode? Ibig sabihin, pag sumablay kami, split na kami? Live like a couple minus the commitment? Pa’no pag nawala na yung magic? Goodbye na?

Iinom ng wine si Jigs.

JIGS: Kung kasal na, kasal na. Wala nang practice. I think that’s the real cowardice. Yung i-try muna natin kung it will work kasi takot! kayo na baka hindi maging successful ang outcome. Saan na napunta ang excitement ng buhay? Kaya nga kayo in-love, para sabay kayong humarap sa totoong buhay, sa hirap at ginahawa, di ba? (Matatawa) Hindi yung pagpapraktisan muna ninyo para siguradong ginhawa lang.

Magkikibit-balikat lang si Jigs.

YUMI: Are you always like that?
JIGS: Like what?
YUMI: So cerebral in everything. Kahit pagdating sa relationships.
JIGS: Life is too precious para lang daanin sa trial and error.

Ngingiti si Jigs. Tahimik.

YUMI: So, No hard feelings?
JIGS: Friends pa rin kami. She still calls me up nga sa bahay e.
YUMI: That’s nice.
JIGS: Kayo, bakit kayo nagbreak ni Carlo?
YUMI: That’s your sixth na ha?
JIGS: Sure.
YUMI: Alam mo, ironic para sa akin yung break-up namin ni Carlo. And the funny thing was, it was about.. sex. Uy, sa atin lang ito ha?
JIGS: Of course.
YUMI: Kasi nga, I was looking for that magic nga di ba? I wanted to be in a relationship na special naman. So of all the boyfriends I had, sa kanya lang ako walang sexual relationship. As in nag-aabstain talaga ako. Kasi parang naisip ko, para magkaroon naman ng meaning yung “making love” di ba? Parang, dapat di mo parating ginagawa, at ginagawa mo lang when you are sincere with yourself and with your partner. So I was investing muna emotionally. And I was actually starting to care about him. Yung, hindi ko na iniisip yung sarili ko. Yung siya lang ang inaalala ko. Akala ko perfect na..
JIGS: Anong nangyari?
YUMI: Patunayan ko raw na mahal ko siya. Magbigay daw ako ng proof. Pagbigyan ko raw siya. Sabi ko sa kanya, hindi pa ba sapat na proof ‘yon? Na I’m saving myself for that right moment, that special moment between us? Alam mong ginawa? Nilayasan ako!
JIGS: You deserve someone better.
YUMI: Talaga!
YUMI: Isipin mo, kung kelan naman I grew tired of meaningless sex, when I’m looking for the real thing, saka naman mawawala. Ang ironic ng buhay no?
JIGS: That’s the way we must learn.
YUMI: Alam mo, kung tutuusin, never ko pang na-experience yung tunay na mag make-love. And I had to go all through those relationships para lang ma-realize yun. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang hinahanap ko.

Iinom ng wine.

YUMI: Ikaw ba, importante sayo na virgin ang mapapangasawa mo? How do you see virginity ba?
JIGS: Alam mo, di ko pa napag-isipan ‘yan. Pero now that you’ve mentioned it.. It doesn’t matter kung virgin ang mapangasawa ko o hindi. Of course I value virginity a lot. I treat it as the only real gift I could give to my wife to be. Imaginin mo na lang di ba, kung wife ko ang una ko. It’s like the perfect wedding gift I could give to her. Pero kung siya hindi na virgin, I wouldn’t care. As long as mahal ko siya. Kasi I don’t expect her to give me the same gift. I don’t do something because I expect people to do the! same to me. Ibigay niya sa akin ang sarili niya nang buong-buo, sapat na sa akin ‘yon. Masaya na ako sa ganoon.
YUMI: (Mapapangiti si Yumi.) You know, that’s the nicest thing I ever heard from a guy. That’s why I always enjoy talking to you. You always say the nicest things.
JIGS: Wow. Salamat. E ikaw, is making love to you equal to love?
YUMI: I always took sex and love as opposite ideas. I mean, after the first time na…you know…sa Senior prom. Kasi afterwards, we broke up na ni Robert. Tapos naisip ko, yun na ba yung love? Baka hindi love yung naramdaman ko. Baka napagkamalan ko lang siyang love. I was just after the pleasure of intimacy. And then I felt empty. So empty. That’s why I wanted to change. I wanted to believe in “making love.” And I’m still looking for it. Yung magic. Yung feeling mo, tao ka pala. I never felt that kahit isang beses. Men have penetrated my body but never my soul. And I wanted that. I wanted someone to touch my soul. T! o “make love” to my soul through my body. Pero siguro, naging numb na’ko sa dami ng relasyong pinagdaanan ko. Hindi ko alam kung mararanasan ko pa iyon. That’s why I envy you.

Tahimik.

YUMI: Sa tingin mo may pag-asa pa ako?
JIGS: You still have your soul.. (Ngingiti)

Tahimik.

YUMI: With whom would you want to experience it?
JIGS: Of course, sa asawa ko.
YUMI: I mean, someone in particular. Take it as my seventh question. So give a name.
JIGS: A name? Hindi ko alam. Basta kung sino ang magiging asawa ko.

Tahimik. Magkikibit-balikat si Yumi. Iinom ng wine.

JIGS: Well, I always thought na it was Krissy. And then, it was just gone. Of course I loved her. And I still do. Pero the magic was just gone after we both found out na magkaiba kami ng mga prinsipyo sa buhay.

Tahimik.

JIGS: My turn?
YUMI: Shoot me.
JIGS: Tell me something.. a secret. Yung wala kahit isang nakakaalam.

Matagal na katahimikan.

JIGS: You trust me naman di ba?
YUMI: Well, you’ve earned it, alright.
JIGS: Saka wala akong tinatago sa’yo. Sinagot ko lahat ng tanong mo as honestly as I could. (Ngingiti)
YUMI: I uhm..
JIGS: Yes..?
YUMI: I need more wine.

Magsasalin si Jigs ng wine.

JIGS: Take your time. We have less than fifty hours to go. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.
YUMI: I’ll tell you something no one in the world knows except one other person. And that person probably forgot all about me already.
JIGS: (Pabiro) What? You had sex with a stranger?
YUMI: Ano ka ba?
JIGS: Biro lang. Seryoso na.
YUMI: Promise ha? Hindi ito lalabas.
JIGS: Promise.
YUMI: If this goes out, I will hunt you kahit sa libingan mo. Huhukayin kita at papatayin kita ulit.
JIGS: Mamatay man ako ngayon.
YUMI: Okay…(Pause) I.. I was with Joel then.. (Magiging mas seryoso ang tono niya) .. and Zach. I wasn’t ! really with Zach, I was just going out with him pag wala si Joel, alam mo na.. making out and stuff…Well, anyway, I was kinda serious din naman with Joel that time. Joel and I were.. you know.. doing it. And..
JIGS: And..?
YUMI: Uhm.. I.. uhm.. I got pregnant.
JIGS: What?

Tahimik. Iinom ng wine si Yumi.

YUMI: I uhm.. shit. Hindi ko naman talaga ginusto e. Uhm.. Two months akong delayed.. then I took that test. I found out na buntis nga ako.. and Joel found out about Zach (maluha-luha na) and I didn’t know what to say, you know? Maniniwala ba naman sa akin si Joel na naaliw lang ako kay Zach? Na I didn’t really love him? Na wala lang iyon? And so he broke up with me and.. I.. uhm.. I was afraid and uhm.. (Magsisimula siyang magbreak-down)
JIGS: It’s okay..
YUMI: I uhm…hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, Joel left me. I wanted to tell him about the baby to make him come back but I don’t think he’d believe me after the thing w! ith Zach…and.. .my parents are gonna kill me if…shit. (iiyak)
JIGS: (lalapit kay Yumi para i-console ito) Ssshhh.. you don’t have to tell me this if it upsets you..
YUMI: And so I went to a clinic.. (hahagulgol) I didn’t mean to, Jigs. I wasn’t myself then. And I felt so afraid. So alone..
JIGS: Tahan na. Ssshhh..

Iiyak lang si Yumi kay Jigs. Yayakapin ni Jigs si Yumi.

JIGS: Alam ba ‘to ni Joel?
YUMI: How can I tell him? The only other person na nakakaalam ay yung duktor sa clinic. God.. (iiyak) Oh God..
JIGS: It’s alright…

Hihimasin ni Jigs ang likod ni Yumi. Patatahanin niya ito. Matagal silang nakaganito lang. Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI: Can you get me my yosi?

Tatayo si Jigs. Pupunta sa may side table sa tabi ng kama. Kukunin ang Yosi ni Yumi. Magsisindi siya ng isa at iaabot kay Yumi.

YUMI: Thanks…

Matagal na katahimikan.

YUMI: If we were.. if we were the last two people on! earth, would you consider doing it with me?
JIGS: Doing what?
YUMI: Alam mo na…
JIGS: Alin? (Teasing ngingiti)
YUMI: Gago mo. (Ngingiti)
JIGS: Ngumiti rin.
YUMI: So? Would you?
JIGS: Alin nga? Di mo masabi no? Bakit di mo masabi? (Pagtatawanan si Yumi) Sabihin mo nga: Sex! Sex! Sex! Sex!
YUMI: Shut up nga!
JIGS: That’s your eight na, ha?
YUMI: I lost count. Answer it.
JIGS: Why not?

Hihithit ng yosi si Yumi. Tahimik. Sasandal si Yumi sa balikat ni Jigs.

JIGS: If you could be something else, what would you be?
YUMI: I dunno.. maybe a violin.. yeah. Violin siguro.
JIGS: Bakit?
YUMI: I always saw the relationship of a violin and its player as very intimate. Pag tumutugtog ang violinist, ang nakikita ko at naririnig ko, he strokes the soul of the instrument and the instrument penetrates the soul of the player. Para silang nagmi-m! ake love. Di ba? Very sexy, very intimate, very sublime. Di ba? Pareho silang sincere sa isa’t isa. Dahil kung hindi sila sincere, walang music na mabubuo. The violin surrenders her body to her player, her whole body and her whole soul, in full trust and sincerity. Di ba, compared to the sound of the other instruments, ang tunog ng violin parang isang naked woman? A naked woman in surrender? I want to be a violin. I want to be stroked in the soul. I want to make sincere music. I want to experience the sound of love.

Tahimik.

JIGS: Lalim nun ah. (Ngingiti)
YUMI: Pa’no mo malalamang in-love ka na?
JIGS: Paano? I don’t think there’s a formula to that. Basta malalaman mo na lang. I mean, ilang beses lang ba nangyari sa akin ‘yon? I’d like to believe na yun na nga ‘yon.. yung kay Krissy..
YUMI: Kwento mo nga.. paano mo narealize dati na mahal mo nga si Krissy?
JIGS: Alam mo nakakatawa.. korni actually. Babalik na naman ako sa pagiging korni nito e. Di ba ayaw mo sa korni.
YUMI: Sige na. Hindi na kita aasarin.
JIGS: I heard bells.
YUMI: Ano?
JIGS: Seryoso. Bigla na lang, habang nag-uusap kami, may narinig nalang akong bells, tapos music. Ewan ko kung iniimagine ko lang ‘yon pero yun ang nangyari. Nakakatawa nga e. Parang kanta ng Beatles.
YUMI: Seryoso ka ba?
JIGS: O baka naman nagkataon noong oras na yon, may nagkakantahan sa kung saan sa school. Basta may narinig akong bells. Tapos napangiti ako. Pagtingin ko sa mata niya, iba na ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko na siya nakita as kabarkada lang. Biglang parang may magic. Hindi ko ma-explain. Baduy pero ganun. Tapos I just seized the moment. Umamin ako. A week later, kami na.
YUMI: Korni nga. (Matatawa)
JIGS: Korni talagang pakinggan. Pero pag nandun ka na. Pag naranasan mo na, feeling mo, hindi na korni.

Ngingiti si Yumi. Tahimik.

YUMI: Alam mo, may times na parang tunog violin ang boses mo. O lasing
lang ako?

Tahimik.

JIGS: I’m into my last question.

Iaangat ni Yumi ang ulo niya.

YUMI: Shoot me. Better make it good.
JIGS: If you were again to be the next victim of this tradition, if you were to be locked up in this room again.. who would you want the next guy to be?
YUMI: (Mag-iisip) I want someone whom I could talk to.. Yung makukwentuhan ko ng mga sikreto ko. Yung may sense makipag-usap. Yung may laman. The violin player who’d stroke my strings.. not even. Yung mapapatunog niya ang strings ko without even touching them. (Tahimik) Lumuluwag na ang dila ko.. kung anu-ano na ang nasasabi ko. (Ngingiti)

Tititigan lang ni Jigs si Yumi. Tahimik.

YUMI: Siyempre yung masarap kausap.

Tahimik. Hindi makatingin si Yumi.

YUMI: Yung kahit habambuhay wala kaming gawin kundi mag-usap.. I think it’s better than making love.

Mapapatingin si Yumi kay Jigs.

YUMI: Gosh I want to kiss you so badly.

Matitigilan siya.

YUMI: I can’t believe I just said that.

Tahimik. Titignan niya ulit si Jigs.

YUMI: Don’t you want to kiss me?

Pause. Titignan siya ni Jigs sa mata.

JIGS: Is that your last question? (Ngingiti si Jigs)
YUMI: Yes.

3/6/12


hello tony stark! :D

akalain mo yun! kilala pala ako ni kuya kevin mark hahaha! (pero mas gusto ko pa rin siya tawaging robin) tapos sabi pa niya, gusto pa daw niya makipagkwentuhan sakin nung nagpapicture ako sa kanya nung 5th PCC kaso nahiya daw siya kasi may kasama ako hahahah!

wala lang! natuwa lang ako! ahihihihihihihihih!

3/1/12

namimiss ko na magblog everyday D: ang daming thoughts na lumilipas! huhuhu almost everyday na kasi ako umaalis! at pag may gusto kasi ako ipost tapos napaglipasan ng ilang araw, parang wala na ko sa mood magpost pa ng tungkol dun D:

hay sayang.. masaya pa naman ako lately at gustong gusto ko yun ishare dito sa blog ko :D pero for some reasons, malungkot pa rin ako at the same time D: tengene kasi hindi ko masabi kung ano yung totoong nafifeel ko. raaaaaaa!!

what a cruel world.

ay wait, ako pala yung cruel dito.

tsk tsk.

2/29/12

HAPPY :D

that's all i could say about this day. this really is a happy leap day!

2/28/12

narealize ko lang sa pagiging blogger ko, yung pinaka masasayang moments lagi yung mahirap ikwento :D hahahaha! ang hirap simulan e!

basta i'm happy! that's it! :D

this is so wrong, though.

2/26/12


natutuwa ako sa picture kong to! hahahahah parang ang laki kasi ng mata ko ♥ ang lakas maka-mila kunis! friends with benefits? hahahahaahahah tengene! pero gusto ko si mila kunis dahil sa mata niya ha! ganda kaya! wala laaaaang~

2/22/12

i guess things are back pretty much to the way it was before.

- - -

happy ba ko?

i don't know.

2/17/12

sometimes i like him, sometimes i don't.

isn't that some kind of bullcrap?

everything is just too complicated. i feel like my head's gonna explode anytime. it's full of confusing thoughts that isn't supposed to be there. oh god, i hate how my mind changes too quickly. and how pessimistic i can get when it comes to the people who love me.

when will i live a simple life again?