self-realization # 6

bakit kaya tuwing gagawa ako ng malaking desisyon sa buhay ko, palagi ko na lang naiisip kung magugustuhan ba nila yung gagawin ko, or may masasaktan ba ko, or magiging masaya ba ang lahat, something like that...

maybe wearvin was right when he told me that i don't know what i exactly want in my life. i can't make my own decisions. i'm too weak and dependent. i always put others' feelings first before my own happiness D: (pero ayoko lang rin naman kasi nung may naaargabyado akong tao habang masaya ako) well, seriously, i'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness for everybody's good. but sometimes, i'm also wondering how it feels like to get something you badly want without worrying what would others feel about it.

it is everyone's right to be happy, isn't it?
it's our right to get or do the things that would make us happy :3

but right now, i don't feel free at all. it seems like somebody else is running my life. i don't have the power to do what i want or to get what makes me happy. i can only follow what they want for me. i know it's for my own good, but the question is.. am i happy?