self-realization # 5

please, jiashi. ignore it. it is none of your business. HE is none of your business anymore. do not care about him. for he does not care about you anymore. he has a new world now where you do not belong. so what if he has got new friends? just be happy because you have your friends too. a lot, actually. and they are the ones who care for you right now. just appreciate them. because you might also lose them if you attach yourself on someone who does not care about you.

i thought you have gotten over him already? i guess not totally. because how the hell can a simple conversation shatter your feelings? that is extremely absurd. stop being ridiculous. you are just embarassing yourself. you should not care about his new life. you are not a part of it. how stupid of you to still care about him after all this time.

remember how he broke your heart before? made your life miserable for months? let you cry yourself to sleep every night? lied to you over and over and over and over again? taken you for granted? being so unfaithful to you? he deserves to be hated, right? then hate him. do not care about him. uh, no, you should not hate him. just be smart enough to not let him hurt you again. good thing, you are very forgiving and forgetful.

yes, jiashi. you are numb. you are great at holding your feelings back. think about your pride. for now, he is a lot less important than your pride. think about yourself. you look so stupid every time you get sad because of him. he is not worth any of your feelings. just be numb. he does not have anything to do with you anymore. do not care about him.

how many times do i have to tell you not to care about him anymore? do not care about him. do not care about him. do not care about him. HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE! wake up to reality! it is clearly obvious that you still have feelings for him. not too much, but still, there is. well, at least, you have tried your best to forget him. but i think you need more time. i know you are almost over him. and that is a good thing. maybe a few more weeks or months, and you will be completely over him.

always keep in mind that your story has ended already. it is time to grab a new book, get a coffee and chill out :) your friends will help you move on with your new life without him. your friends love you. just appreciate what you got right now and thank those people who are always there for/with you. having a partner is not your priority as of now. do not listen to your heart. it will promise you heaven but actually, it will not bring you anywhere. you may just love your friends instead.

just go somewhere. somewhere far away from him. far away from his world. far away from the philippines. some place where you cannot see him. and he cannot see you. some place where you could totally forget about him. it has been SIX awful months and you should get your ass moving by now. got it? good, girl.