11/30/11

grabe! ibang level ng kaboringan ang nafifeel ko ngayong araw na to! maghapon na nga lang ako dito sa bahay tapos wala pa akong gana maglaro ng league of legends D: i don't know whyyyy~

dapat kasi aalis talaga kami ni wearvin ngayon kaso ayaw ako payagan ni ate umalis hanggat nandito si kuya edgar D: kaya naguiguilty tuloy ako, feeling ko nagtatampo si wearvin ngayon huhuhu natatakot ako sa kanya!

tapos si ian hindi rin nakaonline wala akong makausap sa facebook D: kasi usually nagppm yun ng "jazmin" tapos kung ano ano na lang mapagusapan. pero may times rin na parang ang sungit sungit niya hahaha! very blurry! haha! hayyy.. buti pa siya nasa splash island ngayon hahahaha! nakakainggit! sana sa december matuloy ako magdive with kuya edgar hihihi! :D

si terenz naman, ewan ko. wala na kong balita kay terenz hahaha! puro gimik ata inaatupag e! tsk tsk hindi ko na siya nakakalaro lately. nakakamiss rin ah!

anyway, sa sobrang boredom, naisipan kong gumawa ng manga naming apat :D ang dami ko pang sinabi na walang connect, gusto ko lang pala ipost tong ginawa ko ahahahahahah!


awwww paulie ♥ i know you're old enough to be my grandfather but you're still my crush! haha! you're just too adorable!

11/29/11

why are you so......

don't you know that...............





ugh.. this is harder than i thought :(

11/28/11

last night, pinakilala ko kay wearvin yung blog ko :">

actually ayoko naman talagang pinapaopen sa kahit na sino yung blog ko. kasi nahihiya ako kapag may nakakabasa ng posts ko. pero masyado siyang naaaliw sa blog ko for some reason. kaya sinabihan ko siya na okay lang na basahin niya yung entries ko as long as hindi niya sasabihin sakin kung ano yung mga nabasa niya~ okay lang rin naman talaga na mabasa niya to kasi alam na rin niya yung deepest, darkest and dirtiest secrets ko wahahahahahahahah

anyway, before hindi niya daw alam kung ano yung blog. pero nung sinabi sa kanya ng prof niya kung ano yung blog, at nung nalaman niyang nagbloblog ako, naappreciate niya na yung mga nagbloblog :D

at lalo pa siyang natuwa nung sinabi ko sa kanyang natrack ko lahat ng mga pangyayari simula nung nakilala ko yung cyborgs..

october 16 - nakita ko si terenz at wearvin sa isang LOL group sa facebook (mutual friend namin ni rap) kaya inadd ko sila. ininvite nila ko maglaro nung midnight tapos nalilito ako sa kanila kasi puro cyborg blah blah yung name nila tapos ang iingay pa! :D

october 17 - naglaro kami ng 4v4 (ako, snowe, ian, rap VS wearvin, tj, ken, montessa) panalo kami! AP miss fortune pa gamit ko nun hahaha at dun ko una nakalaro si ian :D niloko niya pa ko sabi niya babae daw siya! naniwala naman ako! hahahaha

october 18 - pinakaunang beses na bumanat si wearvin sakin. tungkol sa angry birds at tsaka sa diary! hahaha! tapos nung gabi na, nagpadeliver ako tapos nameet ko yung koreanong delivery guy! ♥ todo kwento ako sa cyborgs tapos di ako makapagconcentrate sa laro kasi nga kinikilig ako! haha

october 19 - nahuli ko si wearvin na binubugaw ako sa mga friends niya sa LOL! hahahaha! pinapamigay yung facebook account ko! nawrong sent siya sakin nun e kaya caught in the act!

october 20 - pinost ni rap sa LOL group sa facebook yung video namin ni jep nung highschool D: tapos naiyak ako kasi naalala ko nanaman si jep (e nung time na to hindi pa ko nakakamove on!) tapos cinomfort ako ni snowe at wearvin! natouch ako sa kanila kasi kahit ilang days pa lang kami magkakilala, nafifeel ko yung concern nila sakin hihihihi :D

october 21 - napagalitan ako ni madur kasi hindi ko siya narereplyan sa chat tapos nakikita niya kausap ko yung mga "intsik" sa facebook! haahahahahahahahahahahah ito rin pala yung time na may kanya kanya na silang nickname sakin :D jiji, ashi, shi shi, shinini :D

october 22 - nagtext sakin si jep out of nowhere! sobrang nagulat ako tapos wala akong mapagsabihan kasi hindi nakaonline si wearvin o kaya si snowe D: si ian yung triny kong kausapin kaso sabi niya hindi daw siya magaling magbigay ng advice. kaya ang payo niya lang sakin, iblog ko na lang daw hahahahah

october 23 - /all bitch my very first trashtalk with cyborgs hahahahaha!! nashock nga sila sakin e! hahaha that time kasi nagkaron ako ng new champion! si gangplank! :D hahaha masyado akong nacacarried away dahil ang sarap gamitin ni GP kaya natawag kong bitch si annie! hahahahaha ito rin pala yung LOL day challenge na 50 skins!

october 24 - nagpost ako na may namimiss ako. hindi ako nagmention ng names pero cyborgs yung tinutukoy ko dito. nung araw kasi na to, hindi ko ata sila nakitang online nung umaga? D: tapos nung gabi na, pinakita ko kay wearvin yung korean comic na nakakatakot! hahhah gumanti ako sa kanya >:D kasi tinakot din ako ni enishi dun e! tapos nung araw na to, nanakawan ako ng 200 garena shells!

october 25 - hindi ako nakapagonline kasi pinaglinis ko si melvin at earl dito sa bahay. tapos sa pagkakaalala ko, kinwento ko sa kanila yung tungkol sa chinese friends ko sa LOL. sabi pa nga ni melvin, pinagpapalit ko na daw sila ni earl sa mga new found friends ko! hahahahaha

october 26 - wala akong post tungkol sa cyborg nito e. maintenance pala yung LOL.

october 28 - nagpapalaundry ako kasama ko si booh (pupunta kasi kami sa bahay niya nun) tapos nawala yung cellphone ko! T^T tapos paguwi ko naman nung gabi, wala akong internet! malas ako nung araw na to hahahaha

october 29 - at dahil wala akong internet, wala ring blog updates. ay meron pala, pero not so important. pumunta pa ko sa computer shop para magblog kasi nga wala akong net haha!

november 1 - may internet na ulit ako :D tapos binigyan ulit ako ni wearvin ng 200 garena shells pambili ng gangplank skin! hohoho

november 2 - nagheart to heart talk kami ni wearvin! hahahahaha

november 4 - nameet ko ulit yung mukhang koreano na delivery guy!


november 7 - nagconference kami ni wearvin at terenz sa garena! tapos nagjoke si wearvin tungkol sa first word na "wewe" at "tete" na sobrang bumenta sakin!! hahahahahahahah

november 11 - bumili ako ng blackberry curve :D mineet ko sa trinoma yung seller! nung una binebenta sakin ng 6.5k pero sabi ni wearvin tawaran ko daw dahil masyadong mahal yun! tapos bandang huli, nakuha ko na lang ng 5k hahahaahah


november 13 - madalas ko na nakakausap ko si ian tapos narealize ko okay rin pala siya :D hahahaha dati kasi natatakot ako sa kanya dahil parang ang sungit niya na ewan :O

november 16 - di nagonline si wearvin the whole day tapos namiss ko siya D: hahaha si ian tuloy kausap at kalaro ko nun haha tapos naglalaro kami 1v1 >:D

november 19 - i told someone something that i should't have. gg ako.

november 21 - he he he :D

november 22 - gumawa ako ng JIA gamit yung wards hahahaha

november 23 - nagusap ulit kami ni wearvin tungkol sa talambuhay namin! hahahahahahha nakakaaliw talagang kausap si wearvin kasi kahit anong topic pwede siya! :D

november 26 - i'm officially a cyborg :D

ayunnnn :D mahigit 1 month ko pa lang pala sila kilala sa online game pero feeling ko years na kami magkakasama! hahahahahha aliw na aliw nga si wearvin kagabi kasi may record ako nung mga simple happenings :D narecall ko pa tuloy kung paano ko sila nakilala at kung paano kami naging close close~

ginagawa ko lang naman to kasi makakalimutin ako hahaha!! i have a bad case of short term memory, kaya nga tinatawag ako ni wearvin na goldfish XD peroooo... natutuwa rin siya sa ginawa ko kasi nafefeature siya sa blog ko at naaappreciate ko yung mga nagagawa nila sakin hahahahahahaha TIGAS! :">
218 0217 691172182177 26271 176 1725 7271 8312 :D
matagal tagal ko na rin to naprintscreen, pero di ko nauupload haha! lucy in the sky pa nga yung pangalan ko oh :D naisipan ko lang iupload ngayon kasi si ian, jazmin ang tawag sakin~


sa totoo lang, dati ayoko talaga ng tinatawag akong jazmin! as in naiirita ko! ang nakakaalam lang ng name kong jazmin ay yung close friends ko sa laco. pero kahit alam nila yun, mas kilala pa rin nila ako bilang jiashi. everybody calls me jiashi, not jazmin.

ang may karapatan lang tumawag sakin ng jazmin na hindi ako naiinis, si booh, rheca at geib lang :D but the rest of my friends, gg sakin kapag tinawag akong jazmin sa public! >:( ni wala ngang nakakaalam sa online friends ko na jazmin pala yung real name ko at hindi jiashi. ayy, si diana lang pala nakakaalam!

pero nung nalaman ng cyborgs yung real name ko.. parang nagulat sila kasi kilala nila ko as jiashi tapos jazmin pala totoo kong pangalan! hahahah nagtataka rin sila kung bakit ayoko yung name na yun e "okay" naman daw! after nun, palagi na kong tinatawag ni ian na jazmin! hanggang sa nasanay na ko :D

and now, naaappreciate ko na yung jazmin :D :D :D but still, ako pa rin si jiashi! hahahahaha
SHOULD I????????????????????????

NO.

11/27/11

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1 1232774 71183 4011, 1417 120133127 7217 507370 ♥
i'm afraid to believe you. but it doesn't mean i think you're lying. it's just that, i don't want to expect or assume anything. what we got right now is more than enough. and i can't afford to lose this.

---

what am i talking about?

11/26/11

you're the one who asked me to be happy, right? you said you don't want to see me sad because you get sad too. you also told me that i should get moving because our relationship is going nowhere anymore. please never ever forget about that. i just did what you asked me to.

don't think that this is my way of getting revenge. well, i was hurt so much before that i wanted to hate you. but i chose not because i'm not the type of person who keeps grudges. lucky you :D

honestly, you don't look so happy right now D: and i don't know why~ i thought you're already happy with your life without me? i guess you were lying. ha!

oh well, all i wish is for you to be happy too :D for you to feel better, stop being bitter. so free yourself from bitterness first! learn to let go of the past and start living in the present. i know you can do that! because i just did it! :D
lucy in the sky is dead~

i am now officially a cyborg :D

11/25/11

grabeeeeeeeeeeeee.

nung una, nagdadaydream lang talaga ako tungkol dun.
tapos few nights ago, napanaginipan ko siyaaa!
then ngayon, parang unti unti na yun nangyayari!!!

hahahahahahahahahaha i don't know what to feel.

basta ang alam ko, masaya ako :D

i don't want to overthink again. go with the flow na lang ako hohoho! :D

11/24/11

self-realization # 7

one of the best things i learned from sir ace..

is to wish for everybody's happiness :D


mas masarap mabuhay kapag nakikita mong masaya lahat ng tao :D kesa naman yung masaya ka tapos may isang taong nalulungkot.. at mas matindi pa dun, kung ikaw yung dahilan kung bakit siya nalulungkot D: nakakaguilty kaya yun! kahit alam mong wala ka namang ginagawang masama sa kanya, parang mabigat pa rin sa loob mo yun. gusto mo siya pasayahin pero mahirap ibigay sa kanya yung bagay na makakapagpasaya sa kanya.

pero buti na lang... hindi yan nangyayari sakin ngayon! hahahahahaha! everybody seems so happy right now :D and seeing them happy makes me happy na rin :D sana palaging ganito! yey!
self-realization # 6

bakit kaya tuwing gagawa ako ng malaking desisyon sa buhay ko, palagi ko na lang naiisip kung magugustuhan ba nila yung gagawin ko, or may masasaktan ba ko, or magiging masaya ba ang lahat, something like that...

maybe wearvin was right when he told me that i don't know what i exactly want in my life. i can't make my own decisions. i'm too weak and dependent. i always put others' feelings first before my own happiness D: (pero ayoko lang rin naman kasi nung may naaargabyado akong tao habang masaya ako) well, seriously, i'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness for everybody's good. but sometimes, i'm also wondering how it feels like to get something you badly want without worrying what would others feel about it.

it is everyone's right to be happy, isn't it?
it's our right to get or do the things that would make us happy :3

but right now, i don't feel free at all. it seems like somebody else is running my life. i don't have the power to do what i want or to get what makes me happy. i can only follow what they want for me. i know it's for my own good, but the question is.. am i happy?
Soft kiss and wine
What a pretty friend of mine
We're finally intertwined
Nervous and shy for the moment we will come alive
Tonight

Secret valentine

We'll write a song
That turns out the lights
When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside
Don't waste your time
Speed up your breathing
Just close your eyes
We'll hope it's for nothing at all

Lay down, be still
Don't worry talk they will
I'll be loving you until
Morning's first light
Breaks tomorrow
I'll take care of you tonight

Secret Valentine

We'll write a song
That turns out the lights
When both boy and girl start suddenly shaking inside
Don't waste your time
Speed up your breathing
Just close your eyes
We'll hope it's for nothing at all
Nothing at all

When guilt fills your head
Brush off rise up from the dead
This is the moment that we will come alive
Brace yourself for love
Sweet love, secret love

---

oh yes, it's you ♥

11/23/11

I WANT TO

but

i shouldn't.

11/22/11

bwahahahahah JIA yan! :D sorry, pangit lang talaga ko magsulat! XD


nung una talaga balak ko brawler's gloves lang item ko sa buong game.. kaso napansin ko yung pera ko 8k na hahahah kaya bumili na lang ako ng wards 6 slots full! XD tapos nagulat sila ian at wearvin kasi puro sight ward lang item ko hahahahah! tapos sinuggest ni wearvin na gumawa ako ng letters gamit yung wards >:D

imba talaga yung game na yan, nagawa ko pang magtrip nung early game hahahahahaha habang busy silasa clash, ako paikot ikot lang somewhere hahah!a nag-e-ss lang ako kapag kailangan. muntik pa nga kami matalo niyan kaya inayos ko na rin yung laro ko nung late game. pero still, panalo pa rin kami niyan >:D cyborg gaming e!
guess what? nakakausap ko na ngayon si jeff ng normal conversation! hahaha at tungkol pa talaga sa love life ang pinagusapan namin! hahahahahahah!

so yeah, may bago na siyang lovelife. kaso parang nagkakalabuan sila ngayon D: nakakalungkot sa part niya hahaha (ay, bat ako tumawa?) anyway, basta ako, i'm still in love with league of legends hahahaha joke! actually, may gusto rin ako kaso masyadong malayo sa realidad.. at tsaka sabi ko rin sa sarili ko ayoko muna iprioritize yung lovelife sa ngayon~

hmm, nakakatawa lang kasi parang kailan lang nung iniiyakan ko pa si jeff! hahahahahah akala ko hindi ko magagawang magmove on, pero ngayon, kering keri ko na! hahaha kung dati, natatagalan ako makaget over, ngayon naman naisip ko parang "yun lang yon? hindi man lang ako nathrill!" hohohoho syempre joke lang! uy, ilang months rin akong depressed nun ah!

and then i met the cyborgs :D may time kasi na inopen up ko kay wearvin yung tungkol samin ni jeff tapos nagadvice siya sakin ng bonggang bongga tapos bigla akong naliwanagan sa lahat! after nun, sabi ko sa sarili ko ayoko na talaga. tapos syempre pati si ian at terenz natulungan rin ako! complete package kasi yung cyborgs e! basta silang tatlo yung dahilan kung bakit nakamove on na ko :D (ay pati rin pala yung iba naming friends sa LOL) to cut a long story short, sobrang saya nila kasama! as in! makakalimutan mo lahat ng problema, lungkot, lahat lahat :D sa internet ko pa lang sila nakakausap pero yung tiwala ko sa kanila ibang level na! :D

wala lang, i just can't believe i'm already over him :D sarap ng feeling! hahahahahah

11/21/11

hahahaha omg, i'm sooo stupid i wanna punch myself.

---

it's like twenty twelve tonight. my world starts to end.

good night.
aksdjhajksd aldh akfjalsk afh alsdj ah aksdjal daksjhalfasjlfah ahsldk asdkl ahklh alfh adlalsdh ald alk hal dkladal ksdhkl asdhajdhlak djaklhdjk fh ashkajg kajdg akjd hasjkd ajksg afksh kajsf ghakjsf hashakjfg aksj ahsfjkasfkjashfajksfh ajkf kjahf kashajk fajksfh kajsgkajsg ajkf aksjf gasjkfh akjfhaksjh skfjh ajkfh askjf asjkh asfjk hasjkf hasjkfhasjkfhask jfhasjk hasfhafsjkfhasjkfh ajkfh ajksfh asdasdklak sdaskhaksj daskjdhaksjdaskhka!!!!!!!!!!!!

.
.
.

wait, what? you just said "sweet dreams"? why? where did that come from? i was shocked because this is the first time you told me that. we usually end our conversation with a simple "good bye" or "good night"... but now "sweet dreams"?! please somebody explain that to me! i can't understand that unusual sweetness out of nowhere! hahahahaha i don't want to assume anything but i can't help giving it a meaning.

maybe it's just some kind of a joke. or maybe you're just trying to be sweet to me as a friend. but are you really sure with that? i mean, did you really mean it? like you really want me to have sweet dreams? because the last guy who told me "sweet dreams" before you was my ex-boyfriend.. so now, can you be my next? hahahahahahahaha joke lang! (gosh, i'm so creepy O___O)

anyway, after reading that message from him, it makes my heart want to jump out of my rib cage :D and i suddenly got a strange feeling that it's falling for him hahahahahah joke lang ulit!

excuse my creepy jokes hahaha i'm really not like that! nadadala lang ako ng emosyon ko hahahahha! kinikilig ako mashadoowwsss :D ♥

11/20/11

i wish i could be a part of your life.

but..

it's just way too far from reality.
pakiramdam ko masyado na kong maingay at malikot.

parang nakakairita na yata ako.

sorry.

so simple yet makes a lot of sense.
I want to be good enough to make you feel confident
But all the things I have are just ordinary

The truth is, you still hestitate
You haven’t given me your whole heart
I’m worried that you’ll find someone else who'll love you too

So I just wish you..
Just don’t confess your love to anyone else
Can you wait for me?
The day I’ll be good enough for you
Please, give me some time
It probably wouldn’t take too long

You’re so nice that everyone desires
You’re the one everybody dreams of

Anyhow, I’m still serious to do everything with all my heart
Do my best as much as I thought
I wish you to be my love

So I wish you..
Just don’t confess your love to anyone else
Can you wait for me?
The day I’ll be good enough for you
Can you give me some time?

I just want us to love each other
I must make it happen
There’ll probably be someday
Just don’t give your heart to anyone else
Please wait for me anyway

Anyhow, I still assure you to make us belong together
recently, i tried to feed myself with positive quotes and sayings. it kills my pessimistic side and it boosts my mood. now, i like myself more than ever! :D i mean, i'm so free from depression. and i almost feel like a new person. but of course, i wouldn't be like this without the help of my friends :D

"A positive attitude may not solve every problem.
But it makes solving any problem a more pleasant experience."
bad move, jiashi! very bad move!
you shouldn't have told him about it! -_____-

please Lord, make him forget all the things i said a while ago! nakakaparanoid e! dignidad ko ang nakasalalay dito hahahahah! i wish i could still act normal when i'm around him.

i don't know what to feel.

kinikilig ba ko? o nahihiya?

ewan.

11/18/11


harry and charlie! ♥

and then...


omgggggggggg! manong accepted me as a friend on facebook!

oh yes, he is the man behind the "hey baby" viral video on youtube! :D

11/17/11

"Ever look at your best friends and wonder why the hell you aren't comedians?"


kung tutuusin, simpleng araw lang to e..
pero naging sobrang saya kasi kasama ko sila :D
(kahit moody talaga ako ngayong araw na to >:D hahahahahah)

they're my girlfriends and i will never exchange them for anything. nuff said.

11/16/11


because bbm is so damn addictive! >:D
why do i look for you all the time? why do i check your facebook profile from time to time? why do i want to talk to you the whole day, wherever i go and whatever i do? WHY?

i'm pretty sure that i'm not falling for you. right now, all i know is the wonderful feeling i get every time we talk. even about the most nonsense stuffs :) i actually think you're some kind of wizard because you can make me smile without even making any move hahahah

you know, i always want to talk to you first. i want to ask random things about you. i want to know you more. but there were times that i feel like i'm annoying you. so i just wait for you to talk to me first instead. well, it's okay. i'm happy just to talk to you :)

i like you.. as a friend :) that's all as of the moment. and while i'm writing this entry, i'm thinking about you. hoping that you would came across my blog and read this. so you could at least have an idea how much you make my heart so happy effortlessly :) i'm so down right now, but you picked me up. and that's the best thing you could do for me so far ♥
Oh you could just pretend to be with her all day
Remember the feeling when you first held hands today
Imagine her in your favorite white dress
Smiling at you as if she thinks that you're the best

She tell you "You and me, sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
You tell her "Baby hear me out, will you marry me tonight?
We're in this make believe reality
And baby it's just you and me"
Make believe reality
But maybe this is killing me

'Cause when tonight she holds you tight
You wonder if this fantasy is right
'Cause when reality comes to play
You realize you couldn't make her stay

Hey Daydreamer
You gotta be prepared to leave her in your fantasy
'Cause when it's over, you gotta make sure
That it's you who'll be with her

Oh you could be her soldier, her knight in shining armor
I'm sure you wanna make her feel how much you love her
And you wish to God that she can see the world in your eyes
So she can realize that she's the girl in your mind

And you don't mind if you don't make it out alive
'Cause you knew right from the start that she's such a boy killer
(I'm dying, I'm dying)

'Cause when tonight she holds you tight
You wonder if this fantasy is right
'Cause when reality comes to play
You realize you couldn't make her stay

Hey Daydreamer
You gotta be prepared to leave her in your fantasy
'Cause when it's over, you gotta make sure
That it's you who'll be with her

And I couldn't believe we're dreaming
I couldn't believe we're leaving this world
For one with more fantasy, just you and me
So that tonight we both can finally be

---

okay, i'll just pretend that you like me too until you finally do :)
"I think I'm afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."
- Charlie Brown

---

hahahaha walang naniniwala sakin tuwing sinasabi kong malungkot ako :D siguro dahil palagi nila akong nakikitang nakangiti at tumatawa hahahahahaha but the truth is, right now i'm very sad for no apparent reason. seriously, i don't know the reason. oh well. nevermind. baka nababaliw lang ako hahahahahah

:(
i was too happy a while ago but now...

whyyyyyyyyyy :(

11/15/11


gosh! the hunger games trailer is sooo exciting! :D it makes me want to read the book as soon as possible! para malaman ko na talaga yung story! hahaha but it's too expensive! gusto ko talaga yun bilhin but i'm not willing to spend thousands for books! hahahahah D: kung may makikita akong paperback yun na lang! or else mapipilitan ako mag ebook! hahah joke lang! pagiisipan ko pa >:D

anyway, papanoorin namin tong the hunger games next year kasama si geib kapag showing na sa pilipinas! ♥ yay!

the best thing globe ever made so far! hahahaha! 300 php a month isn't bad! aliw na aliw kasi ako sa blackberry messenger kahit konti lang naman contacts ko hahah! basta gusto ko always bbm on the go!
last na to promise :)


hello to my new found friend, ress! lels!
those words.. are awkward.
just AWKWARD.

i feel like it's a go signal for me to stop.
uhh.. what the actual fuck? hahahaha nevermind.

oh well, moving on..

no LOL for 3 days now. i've been too busy lately. and i'm missing the cyborgs already! D: as well as the whole barkada! i miss them as if they were my friends in real life. to think that i haven't seen any of them personally yet. haha one of these days >:D

11/14/11

self-realization # 5

please, jiashi. ignore it. it is none of your business. HE is none of your business anymore. do not care about him. for he does not care about you anymore. he has a new world now where you do not belong. so what if he has got new friends? just be happy because you have your friends too. a lot, actually. and they are the ones who care for you right now. just appreciate them. because you might also lose them if you attach yourself on someone who does not care about you.

i thought you have gotten over him already? i guess not totally. because how the hell can a simple conversation shatter your feelings? that is extremely absurd. stop being ridiculous. you are just embarassing yourself. you should not care about his new life. you are not a part of it. how stupid of you to still care about him after all this time.

remember how he broke your heart before? made your life miserable for months? let you cry yourself to sleep every night? lied to you over and over and over and over again? taken you for granted? being so unfaithful to you? he deserves to be hated, right? then hate him. do not care about him. uh, no, you should not hate him. just be smart enough to not let him hurt you again. good thing, you are very forgiving and forgetful.

yes, jiashi. you are numb. you are great at holding your feelings back. think about your pride. for now, he is a lot less important than your pride. think about yourself. you look so stupid every time you get sad because of him. he is not worth any of your feelings. just be numb. he does not have anything to do with you anymore. do not care about him.

how many times do i have to tell you not to care about him anymore? do not care about him. do not care about him. do not care about him. HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE! wake up to reality! it is clearly obvious that you still have feelings for him. not too much, but still, there is. well, at least, you have tried your best to forget him. but i think you need more time. i know you are almost over him. and that is a good thing. maybe a few more weeks or months, and you will be completely over him.

always keep in mind that your story has ended already. it is time to grab a new book, get a coffee and chill out :) your friends will help you move on with your new life without him. your friends love you. just appreciate what you got right now and thank those people who are always there for/with you. having a partner is not your priority as of now. do not listen to your heart. it will promise you heaven but actually, it will not bring you anywhere. you may just love your friends instead.

just go somewhere. somewhere far away from him. far away from his world. far away from the philippines. some place where you cannot see him. and he cannot see you. some place where you could totally forget about him. it has been SIX awful months and you should get your ass moving by now. got it? good, girl.
Jiashi Balisacan
teh! alam mo ba may bagong teacher sa laco, kahawig ni coco. tapos maraming nakakagusto sa teacher na yun ngayon.

Gabrielle Bedana
anong meron sa kanya?

Jiashi Balisacan
nakwento nung pamangkin ko na taga laco, yung teacher nga daw na yan, marami nagkakagusto kasi kahawig ni coco. di super pogi pero pwede na hahaha


Gabrielle Bedana
oo nga! ang cute!! high school teacher?

Jiashi Balisacan
oo hahahha coco diba?

Gabrielle Bedana
inadd mo? iadd natin!

Jiashi Balisacan
oo kaso baka sabihin mo nanaman ayaw mo iadd kasi isipin niya crush mo siya

Gabrielle Bedana
oo! parang lamang lang si coco ng mga ilang paligo hahahahha! yabang mo naman sakin!

Jiashi Balisacan
ay teh! kahawig siya ni jep tengene! o sa paningin ko lang? tengeneeeee yung mata niya!

Gabrielle Bedana
ay oo nga!!! kaya pala type mo ha! sige teh! susuportahan kita sa kanya!

Jiashi Balisacan
diba T___T ahahaha tengene! hindi! ayoko na kay jep promise! hahahahaha hindi ko type yan! tengene nakweto lang talaga!

Gabrielle Bedana
hindi ko naman sinabing gusto mo si jep ah! defensive much?

Jiashi Balisacan
hahahaha oo nga naman. si jiashi talaga oh! napaghahalataan! chos! e kasiiii~ basta kamukha niya no?

Gabrielle Bedana
sa mata pati sa ngiti

Jiashi Balisacan
para nga silang magkapatid ni jep e

Gabrielle Bedana
pero teh, wag mo na gustuhin si jep. mahuhurt ka lang. yang si sir dionisio na lang.

Jiashi Balisacan
tengene ano ko katulad mo kay sir O? ayoko sa teacher. ayoko rin sa iba. wala na ko gusto ngayon. promise wala na.

Gabrielle Bedana
hahaha! si wearvin na lang yun boto ako dun!

Jiashi Balisacan
TENGENE! FRIENDS LANG KAMI NI WEARVIN!! hahahahah ang kulit mo teh ayoko nga talaga muna magkagusto

Gabrielle Bedana
hindi, okay lang teh

Jiashi Balisacan
ikaw lang nagpupumilit sa amin ni wearvin

Gabrielle Bedana
sorry na

Jiashi Balisacan
ahahahha ayoko kasi talagaaa

Gabrielle Bedana
hahaha! sige na ngaa! pero teh wag muna tayo mag seseryoso. crush crush lang muna. para hindi na kayo heartbroken ni booh

Jiashi Balisacan
ahahhha!! ako promise crush-free na ko. wala na ko magustuhan.

Gabrielle Bedana
si kuyang koreano?

Jiashi Balisacan
he's the only exception! chos! e once in a blue moon ko lang makita un! crush ko lang siya ocassionally hahahahha!

Gabrielle Bedana
hahahahha! basta ganun ganun lang muna tayo para lagi tayong happy. ayoko kasing may sad sa ating apat eh. chos! ang drama!

Jiashi Balisacan
pang famas teh! oo ako nalang magrereto sa inyo sa mga crush niyo! pero ako wala na talaga. magiging careerwoman na lang ako.

Gabrielle Bedana
hahahahhaha!! tama yan! hindi dapat pinoproblema ang mga lalaki, kaya dapat wag ka na malulungkot pag naalala mo si jep

Jiashi Balisacan
ay nalulungkot pa rin ako kasi nakakamiss lang. pero ganun ganun lang. wala ng ibang nafifeel hahahah. kay booh nga ko nagwoworry e haha

Gabrielle Bedana
ang hirap kasi ng sitwasyon ni booh eh. lagi nyang nakikita si lowin kaya mas mahirap mag move on.

Jiashi Balisacan
sabagay. nakakainis lang kasi parang nananadya si lowin. porket feel niyang gusto pa siya ni booh

Gabrielle Bedana
tama. kaya kelangan ireto mo na si booh para makapag move on na siya. ano ba yaaaaan!!! ba't tayo nag g-girl talk?!

Jiashi Balisacan
hahahaha! ang sagwa teh. itigil na natin tong kalokohan na to

---


uhh.. medyo kamukha naman ni jep diba? matabang version lang :D
yey! nandito na ulit sila ej, ate jen and kuya edgar :D


pero next month babalik na ulit si kuya edgar sa qatar. hindi na siya dito magchrichristmas. nakakaawa nga si ej kasi for sure hindi siya papayag na umalis daddy niya D: oh well.

sobrang namiss ko talaga to si ej! :D ngayong nandito na siya ulit, meron na akong ihuhug and kiss every hour! ♥

11/13/11

nakita ko to pinost ni geib sa blog niya, na pinost naman daw ng friend niya sa facebook.

A girl should do this. A girl should do that.
by Jillian Salacata

Everything written here is a product of my mind; making it my personal opinion. Therefore any argument thrown at me in this post shall be invalid. Have you ever experienced meeting someone-- a guy to be exact. And people would go ape shit when they find out that you, a girl, a human specimen with boobs, is the one initiating the conversation towards him, or asking him to hang out and stuff? Here are some of the most common things I hear about "Girl Rules:" 1. "Girls should wait for the guy to text first." 2. "Girls should let him notice you, not the other way around." 3. "Girls should never call a guy first." 4. "Girls should never ask the guy out." 5. Etc... etc.. (lol, wala na 'kong maisip) It will forever puzzle me as to why people always expect guys to initiate things first. I mean, what's wrong with girls doing 'those' kinds of acts anyway? I for one, think that it's unfair for the guy to be obliged with things like this. I just don't see the point. Isn't it that effort goes a long way? Hindi ba maa-appreciate din naman ng lalaki pag nakikita niyang interesado ang babae na makilala pa siya ng husto? Hindi yung pakipot pa; feeling conservative kahit hindi naman :| Wala naman sigurong malisya pag ikaw yung nauna sa mga get-to-know-you basis niyo, diba?? (as long as you keep it natural, and not too obvious... y'know, if you happen to like the guy) Honestly, in what century do you live in to even follow these so called 'rules'. Hindi na uso ang mga Maria Clara! Pag gusto mo ang isang bagay, kagatin mo na bago ka maunahan ng iba! TAKE A RISK. Isn't that what life is all about?

-------

Why do boys always have to be the first one to initiate? I mean, isn't that sexist? Kakausapin mo lang yung lalaki, malandi ka na agad? WTH, right?! Hindi ba pwedeng friendly muna? Although, I don't think that if you like a guy, you should be the one to make a move. I mean, yes, you may let him know that you like him and befriend him, but not to the point na parang ikaw na yung nanliligaw. Hindi maganda yun! There's a fine line between being friendly and being a slut. You should know the difference, and you must never cross the line.

^ T to the H-I-S. this.

11/12/11


yay! umattend kami kanina ng quad rhythm 3 sa laco :D ang saya saya! nakakatuwang makita ulit yung mga naging teachers ko before! tapos yung mga kabatch kong iba nandun rin! gosh, i've missed my alma mater so muchie much! ang dami ko naaalala nung nakapasok ulit ako sa laco! grabe, alam mo yun, that school is very special for me! more than 10 years rin ako dun no! nakakamiss yung old times! if i were given a chance, i would relive those days! ♥

sayang nga e, kasi kaming tatlo lang ni geib at hasinto (as usual!) yung pumunta. hindi nanaman sumama si booh at rheca. medyo nakakainis na nga kasi palagi na lang nababalewala yung plano. kahit ang tagal na panahon na pagplaplano, sa last minute meron pa ring aatras. ang gara. oh well. intindihin na lang.
After a break up. He was a major part of your life; of course you’ll miss him; it’s perfectly normal. It’s like getting a tooth pulled out; after the dentist pulls it, you’re relieved. But how many times do you run your tongue over the spot where it once was ? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it was hurting you, doesn’t mean you don’t notice it. It leaves a gap, and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it always takes some time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it’s still going to hurt. A new tooth will grow.

T to the H to the I to the S. THIS ^
unnie shared this video on facebook~

"how to get a korean boyfriend"


omg hahahah this made me laugh hysterically! these filipinas are soooooooo freakin' hilarous! especially the one on the left who always do the aegyo! XD she's so good acting like a real korean!

hopefully, if given a chance, i want to have a korean boyfriend~ just like unnie :D

i got myself a blackberry curve 8520 yesterday! i actually want torch but i can't afford it yet! too expensive for me D:

until now, i'm still trying to figure out how this works. blackberry is sooo confusing! applications here and there and everywhere, the messaging is messed up, i can't make the wifi work! ugh, somebody help me please! D:

11/11/11

geib showed me a video, similar to the one i posted yesterday.
about the aquino-cojuangco conspiracy.


this is truly an eye opener. it changed my positive perceptions of the aquino-cojuangco clan. seriously, they are as scary as the new world order, the illuminati.

tell me, who and what are we going to believe now? this is no longer a democratic country. we do not have freedom. the media is taking away our rights to know the truth about our own country. we are all puppets. if we fight, we are going to die. they hold our lives in their hands. yes, it's sad but it's true.

---

i hate them all.
i hate the aquinos and cojuangcos.
i hate everyone responsible for these anomalies.

11/10/11

11 is my lucky number.
the date tomorrow is 11/11/11.
and it has six 1's.

okay, i'm being ridiculous again.

---

may naisip na kong wish para bukas :D

1 1112177 7344 132615 ♥

---

baka pala bilhin ko na bukas yung blackberry curve na binebenta nung tagafairview. share lungs. torch talaga gusto ko e kaso curve pa lang ang afford ko sa ngayon </3 bahala na. good night.
oh hey, tomorrow is 11/11/11 :D
and so... what? nothing. hahaha

pero natutuwa ako sa date bukas~ kasi feeling ko lucky number ko yung 11 e :D nagsimula yun nung summer 2010. nung binigay sakin ni jep yung jersey shirt niyang number 11. pagkatapos nun, palagi ko na napapansin yung 11:11 or 1:11 sa orasan. at hanggang ngayon, napapansin ko pa rin yun. sa orasan, sa music player, yung time sa league of legends, sa chat, sa cellphone, etc.

minsan naweweirdohan na nga ako e kasi lagi ko na lang nakikita yung 11 kung saan saan! parang may pangitain talaga! hahahah natatawa na lang ako tuwing napapansin ko yun e. lalo na sa time. kasi believe it or not, ARAW ARAW talaga napapansin ko yung 11:11 o kaya 1:11! hindi lumalipas ang isang araw na wala akong nakikitang number 11.

pero sa totoo lang, kahit araw araw kong napapansin yung 11:11 sa time, never ko pa natry magwish dun hihihi :D not because nakakalimutan ko or hindi ako naniniwala dun. basta ayoko lang :D sa sobrang common na sakin na makita yung 11:11 na time, it doesn't look special anymore hahahahah but still, for me, 11 is my lucky number! :D

anyway, sana may magandang mangyari sakin bukas :D gusto maging special yung 11/11/11 ko~ at tatry ko rin pala magwish baka sakaling magkatotoo wahahahahah


yey! kagabi nagpunta kami ni hasinto sa teria tapos nabuksan ko ulit yung account ko sa audition! hahahah ayun buhay pa naman siya! kaso hindi na ako nakapaglaro e kasi lagger sa teria! haha oh well~ nandun pa rin naman yung mga indefinite items na ginastusan ko ng bonggang bongga! as far as i can remember, naka 15+ din ako sa audition na yan! 2nd year highschool :D ligaw na ligaw ang landas ko no? hahahahahahahah
whoever made this clip is a genius! every filipino must watch this! sulit yung 10 minutes promise!


"edsa revolution made the philippines the poorest country in asia."

hindi ako pro-marcos, pero mas lalo namang hindi ako pro-yellow!

hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit ang daming against sa marcos regime na nagpaunlad ng pilipinas at sobra sobrang suporta naman sa yellow chorva na wala namang nagawa.. ay, meron silang nagawa.. yung so-called democracy.. o tapos?

wala ako sa lugar na magsalita ng ganito dahil hindi naman ako nabuhay nung panahon na yun! XD pero totoo naman talaga na sobrang unlad ng pilipinas noon diba?

ang hirap kasi sa ibang tao, may natural na crab mentality! yun bang ayaw nilang nalalamangan sila ng kapwa nila kaya pipilitin nila yun hatakin pababa! e nung time ni marcos, marami naman siyang nagawang maganda diba? pero nabrainwash yung mga pilipino, inisip nila porket si marcos ang nagpapatakbo ng lahat, e naiisahan na sila. hindi man lang nila tinignan yung madagandang naidulot niya bilang presidente. democracy ang gusto nila, bakit, may pagkukusa ba sila?

nakakalungkot lang talaga isipin dahil 25 years na ang nakalipas. mahirap na itama yung mga kamalian dahil tumagal na ng tumagal. anong nagawa nung demokrasya nila? wala.

sana magkaron ulit ng great leader na katulad ni marcos! at hindi yung kung sino sino lang na magtuturo daw ng tuwid na daan! leche! napakaechosero! hahaha o kaya sana ako na lang ang maging presidente :D wahahahahah

ang dami ko pang saloobin tungkol dito hahahah pero mas gusto ko mapagusapan namin to ng mga kaibigan ko. para kasing masayang topic to e hahahaha

nakakatuwa talaga ang politics! kaya nga bukod sa pagiging sundalo, pangarap ko rin maging politician! :D pero medyo malabo yun dahil mas hilig ko ang arts at business! D: napakalabo! huhuhu

11/9/11

i realized that i really don't miss him..
i just miss the feeling of having a boyfriend :)

the first one who greets you a good morning and also the last one who says good night. the one you remember every time you listen to love songs. the one who treats you like you're the greatest person alive. the one who appreciates every little thing you do. the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with. the one who can make you laugh effortlessly. the reason why you're always happy. the one who cheers you up when you're down. the one who makes you smile when you're crying. the one who you run to when you got family problems. the one who you can talk to for hours without getting bored. the one who you can open up your deepest secrets and still won't judge you. the one who protects you. the one you love.

unfortunately, my special someone is no longer special. but it's okay.

truth is.. i could live without a boyfriend, but i can't live without my bestfriends :D
as long as they exist, i will be loved forever! ♥


i'm happy :D

11/8/11

You don't realize how much I need you.
Love you all the time and never leave you.
Please come on back to me.
I'm lonely as can be. I need you.

Said you had a thing or two to tell me.
How was I to know you would upset me?
I didn't realize as I looked in your eyes.
You told me.

Oh yes, you told me,
you don't want my lovin' anymore.
That's when it hurt me.
And feeling like this,
I just can't go on anymore.

Please remember how I feel about you,
I could never really live without you.
So, come on back and see just what you mean to me.
I need you.
When I call you up
Your line's engaged
I have had enough
So act your age
We have lost the time
That was so hard to find
And I will lose my mind
If you won't see me
You won't see me

I don't know why
You should want to hide
But I can't get through
My hands are tied
I won't want to stay
I don't have much to say
But I can't turn away
And you won't see me
You won't see me

Time after time
You refuse to even listen
I wouldn't mind
If I knew what I was missing
Though the days are few
They're filled with tears
And since I lost you
It feels like years
Yes, it seems so long
Boy, since you've been gone
And I just can't go on
If you won't see me
You won't see me

11/7/11

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
terenz: we, ayaw maniwala ni jiji na never had a gf pa ko

jiashi: oh come on!

wearvin: hay nako shi.. wag ka maniwala dyan! wahahahahha joke lang shi, seryoso never had a girlfriend yan. pero may boyfriend siya, andito oh :">

jiashi: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

wearvin: pero seryoso shinini never had a girlfriend yan pero always has chicks

terenz: never had a gf pa ko pero nainlove na rin ako jiji

jiashi: o tapos? anyare?

terenz: mahabang storya, maiinis ka lang, si wearv nga gustong suntukin e

wearvin: oo mahabang storya yung tipong mapapa amen ka sa huli

terenz: amen ampota hahahaha tengene me werv

jiashi: hahahahah kwento mo na lang wearv

wearvin: di ko pwede ikwento dapat sa keyboard mismo ni te manggaling or sa bibig niya

terenz: ayoko! alam mo ba wearv, bv ako sa kanya nung isang gabi. nagtext siya sakin, sabi niya, uy gising ka pa ba, tapos sabi ko, oo bakit..

jiashi: omg lately lang yan?

wearvin: oo ngayon lang

jiashi: okay game

terenz: sabi niya, patawanin mo nga ako, tapos sabi ko, bakit kita patatawanin, sabi niya kasi daw naaalala niya si K tapos iyak daw siya ng iyak. sabi ko, nagtext ka akala ko naman naaalala mo ko, tapos sabi niya, naaalala nga kita ikaw lagi nagpapatawa sakin kapag malungkot ako. tengene di ko natiis. pinatawa ko din amf. nakaka bv.

wearvin: gagu user men, ginagamit ka lang kapag malungkot siya. sabihin mo sa kanya titi siya kamo! fook u siya! di ko makakalimutan sinabe niya sayo that night!

terenz: oo nga e :( tengene niya. pakamatay na siya. sana masagasaan siya.

jiashi: hahahahahaha teka! natatawa ko! bakit parang mas affected si wearv? hahahahahhahahahahahah!!

terenz: di mo kasi alam history namin ni we

wearvin: kasi nga! what te feels, i feel it too, we are one!

terenz: yeah! hahaha amen!

jiashi: kukulangin ba isang buwan para makwento lahat?

wearvin: oo kulang. feeling ko nga years e.

jiashi: imba! hahahaha

terenz: kasi alam mo jiji, kinder pa lang kami ni we, magkakilala na kami. hanggang ngayon.

jiashi: ang tagal na nga.

wearvin: yeah, isipin mo shi.. pagdilat ng mata ko, nagulat ako nandun si te! first word ko "tete!" first word ni te "wewe!"

terenz: amen!!

wearvin: amen!!

terenz: hallelujah!!

wearvin: ahahhahha!! fook u te!

jiashi: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH TENGENE MO WEARV!!! HAHAHAHAHAH

wearvin: tengene shi! wag ka kasi tumawa!

terenz: pero seryoso, kasi jiji, we go way back nung si wearv pa lang naiinlove :">

jiashi: TEKA! WAG MUNA! DI PA TAPOS TAWA KO! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

wearvin: wag ka kasi tumawa!

terenz: feeling ko mamamatay ka katatawa kapag kasama mo kami in real life.

jiashi: NGAYON PA LANG NAMAMATAY NA KO!!

terenz: kung ngayon pa lang mamamatay ka na, in real life papakamatay ka talaga! oi teka jiji, sabi mo, lilibre mo kami ni we diba?

jiashi: TEKA DI PA KO NAKAKA MOVE ON! PAG NAAALALA KO NATATAWA KO!

terenz: move on na! pota!

wearvin: wait puta, mag lock in muna kayo, start na!

---

grabe talaga yung joke ni wearvin tungkol sa first word na "tete" at "wewe" bentang benta sakin!! sobrang bumenta!! box office hit!!

sulit yung pagpupuyat! ang saya saya :D

11/6/11

"Dès le premier jour
Ton parfum enivra mon amour
Et dans ces instants
J'aimerais être comme toi par moment
Mais depuis ce jour
Je n'ai qu'un seul et unique regret"

- Panic! At The Disco, Nearly Witches

---

until now, i still do :) ♥

11/5/11

<rant>

napakaselfish mo alam mo ba yun? egoistic, self-centered, inconsiderate, ganyan ka e. napapansin mo yung mali ng ibang tao pero sarili mong pagkakamali hindi mo nakikita. bakit ba kasi pinoproblema mo pa yung kamalian ng iba? affected much? bawat tao may kanya kanyang attitude and characteristics at hindi mo yun mababago, kaya dapat matuto ka na lang tumanggap at makibagay. kasi hindi mo naman sila mapapasunod ayon sa gusto mo mangyari. if you can't beat them, join them. kesa naman magmukmok ka dyan, wala ka na ngang mapapala, mukha ka pang tanga.

wag mo na pilitin magisip na parang matured dahil ang totoo immature ka pa rin naman! hahah wag mo na kasi problemahin yung mga bagay na hindi naman dapat pinoproblema. iniistress mo sarili mo e. ang sarap sarap magpakabata e tapos ikaw gusto mo na tumanda agad? nako, maaga ka mamamatay niyan kung nagpapatanda ka na agad hahahahah

nagprepretend ka lang na optimistic at openminded ka pero hindi ka naman talaga ganun! kasi kung ganun ka, bakit ka nagiinarte sakin ngayon? pati ako dinadamay mo sa mga kadramahan mo, e wala naman ako ginagawang masama sayo. kasalanan ko ba kung sadyang boring ka lang talaga? hahahah dude, hindi umiikot ang mundo sayo, kaya wag kang makasarili.

siguro duwag ako dahil hindi ko to masabi sayo ng harap-harapan. pero ang bastos ko naman kung direkta kong sasabihin yan sayo diba? nirerespeto pa rin kita kahit nakakairita ka na.

</rant>